Mukilteo Musings

Ten Things You Look For In A Mate

As always this is from yanowhatimean.com and is her Ten on Tuesday list which I missed here by a day.

I suppose after 31 years of a happy marriage, I should write a "Keys to a Happy Marriage" pamphlet. The thing is, I really don't have any secrets about having a successful marriage. Dave and I just clicked from the beginning. I hate it when people say--"Oh, you have to work at it to have a good relationship!!" My advice would be if you have to work at it and it is hard, do NOT--I repeat, do NOT marry the person. When we married, we were both only 20 but neither one of us had any doubts. Of course, we have had our arguments but nothing has ever been marriage threatening. So for my list:

1. Comfort--I have a complete feeling of comfort with my husband; I can tell him and he can tell me if we have a boogers in our noses.
2. Friendship--My husband is my best friend; I can go to Costco with him and have fun.
3. Tolerance--He thinks Britney Spears is cute; I think Apolo Ohno is cute and we can laugh about it.
4. Humor--sometimes my husband says the most hilarious things and after all of these years I still laugh. For example, the other day he was on a scientist retreat on a boat out in Puget Sound for the afternoon. When he got home, he said in his usual understated way, "If that boat had had any problems and sunk, it would have set cancer research back about 50 years!"
5. Equality--We married young--in 1973--but we have always been equal partners. We were in college together; grad school together; we started our first jobs together with equal pay; we shared cleaning and cooking. Children threw this off a bit but we readjusted to maintain our equality.
6. Fights--we do have them but somehow we manage to talk through them. I think you need to fight sometimes because it clears the air.
7. Intelligence--I would never have liked him to begin with if he hadn't been really smart.
8. Passion--I thought my hubby was hot when I was 16 and I still do.
9. Agreement--We have the same tastes in furniture, politics and religion---three biggies.
10. Trust--We trust each other; we are open and honest and committed and we like each other and we love each other.

So there you go but I also think I am very very lucky to be with a truly nice man.