Wednesday, August 09, 2006

I Asked My Husband for a Divorce

Well, in this state it is called dissolution but yes I did. Shock of the world to those of you who know me and read this blog. Last weekend, on Saturday, we were invited to a wedding on Whidbey Island.

Dave took our old fishing boat out in the Sound on Saturday to fish for Coho and he left me with the assignment of picking up a wedding present. The invitation came by e-mail. I had no idea who these people were. The information I had was that they were about our age and this was not the first marriage for either of them. Both the bride and groom work at the UW and in fact the groom is a chair of a department---so, you know--right up there. Also, the groom orginally came from Scotland and Dave rides the bus with the both of them to work everyday.

If my dear friend Patti O. were still alive and living here, this would have been one of those numerous occasions where our husbands give us very little to go on. This situtaion had happened a number of times over the years with different parties and events connected with the University. Patti and I would call each other. "Do you know anything about these people? What should we wear? Should we go together on a gift? How about we take one car on the ferry?" Dave said Curt and Patti would have been invited to this wedding. So I was really feeling on Saturday that big hole in my life that Patti O. filled.

Kaley and I went shopping while Dave fished. He caught up with us by cell phone while we were at Pottery Barn. Evidently, he had caught three salmon and we joked that perhaps bringing a fish and a bottle of wine would be appropriate. But I wanted to bring a real gift so I bought these cool snack plates that I have wanted myself for a couple of years.

The wedding was one of the most beautiful and ridiculously fun events I have ever attended. I only knew two people there---my husband and one of his colleagues who is in our wine group. But it did not matter. My husband knew absolutely everyone except for the immediate family members. He knew scientists who flew here from California and from back East. Weirdly, people seemed delighted to meet me and knew that for example, my purse had been stolen.

One of the scientists who had flown in from D.C. (though he works at the U--he is only in D.C. temporarily) loves to fish, too. His brother is a fisherman by trade and they had been up in Alaska in June for the Chinook run. He supplied this gorgeous King salmon for the wedding and Dave helped him cook it. People gobbled it up as fast as they could barbeque. Yes, it would not have hurt if we had brought a couple of Coho.

The wedding was on the property the bridal couple had recently purchased. It was unbelievable. The house was normal northwest style and kind of old with a lot of issues like a leaky roof that Dave had heard about on the bus but who cares? They have a big rare flat yard with a view of the Olympics and the Sound; they have their very own forest with huge doug firs and cedars. The weather was perfect for a wedding--sunny but not too hot and not even a breeze. Nobody went in the house except to use the bathroom. For some reason this year we are not plagued by mosquitoes or yellow jackets so there was not even a bug.

The bride and groom were so incredibly handsome. As I said, he is orginally from Scotland so he was dressed in a kilt. His two teen age sons, the groomsmen, were dressed in kilts and so was the darling ring boy. The bride wore a fabulous ivory dress with sequins and it was warm enough the entire evening that she did not need a shawl to cover her bare shoulders. Her attendants were her daughters and they wore black gowns with silver sequins.

Not that I am a big fan of bagpipe music but....WOW! One bagpipe being played overlooking Puget Sound while two people promise to love and cherish one another for as long as they both shall live...WOW! And that is when it happened. I whispered into my husband's ear at that moment, "I want a divorce. We should get divorced so we can get married again. It is not fair. I want to have a party like this. This is so seriously cool!" Actually, he agreed but then he said that in two years it will be our 35th anniversary so maybe we could celebrate with a special party.

We danced, we ate salmon. We laughed. We ate cake. Dave and his friends told stories about fun times at scientific meetings. Somebody passed around a bottle of Scottish whiskey called "Sheep Dip" which was completely hysterical to a bunch of medicinal chemists and toxicologists. I did not see one person who could handle more than a tiny sip--except for maybe the groom. The groom danced with me. (Men are so hot in kilts!) Dave danced with the bride. Dave and I danced with each other and we were so glad our kids did not see us. They would have thrown up.

And all of us watched the sun set over the Olympic Mountains. I felt sad and happy at the same time. Happy for the new married couple. Sad that Patti missed it. Happy to enter part of my husband's world. It is strange to not know all of his friends.

But we really aren't getting a divorce. The next day, we ate freshly caught Coho for dinner and bought an umbrella for our deck. We watched the sun set over Whidbey Island.

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And this was fun, too!