Saturday, June 21, 2008
Yesterday, Dave took me in for my first chemo. I was scared. I knew a little of what to expect because I went with my Mom to her first chemo. Beforehand, my nurse explained everything that would be pumped into me including side effects. Seriously, the information was overwhelming and I thought I might faint. She was wonderful as have all of the nurses been. By the way, her husband is from Great Falls and he is also a nurse at SCCA.
I thank all of you from the bottom of my heart, again, for the prayers. You know it is weird to say this but I run out of the energy to pray. And sometimes, I do not know what to pray because my ultimate prayer is to get all of this mess out of my body. My prayers are short--help me to be calm; help me to not be scared; give me peace; give my family strength; and the Lord's Prayer---always the Lord's Prayer. So this is where all of you come in because you are praying the prayers I haven't been capable of managing right now. And I really do feel it. When they are doing something disgusting to my body, I can feel all of you lifting me up and out of it.
The first chemo has given me strength because I know now there are chemicals in my body fighting the bad cells. This is extremely calming and my pain is much less today because I am relaxed. I have a few days off from doctor visits. Whew! I even shaved my legs and put on shorts and a tank top because it is supposed to be sunny. I still see just overcast but it is warm.
The irony of my situation is not lost on the caregivers we have encountered. My husband is a cancer research scientist who stumbled into his work by studying toxic chemicals we should keep out of our bodies.
And now I am full of both.
10 Comments:
Relaxed, clean-shaven, tank-topped, and pumped full of strong stuff. Sounds like progress is being made :-) Hang in there, Janet, I'm so glad to know you can actually feel the continuing support from afar.
Carroll
By 
, at
5:39 PM
You are on our minds all day long, Janet.
By 
Chuck Sigars, at
6:32 PM
The Lord's Prayer is the one that most of us learn as children. It's basic to our faith and I'm so glad it's engraved that deeply in your mind Janet. It's the cry of the heart when we are faced with the unknown, knowing that God, like a father or mother, hears and responds. Prayer is a mighty wave, and I'm glad you feel us all lifting you up and over the deep. Thanks so much for your honesty on this journey. And tell Kaley to bake ya some chocolate somethings! That's "Vitamin C" for women :) A trip to have your toenails done sounds in order too.
Love,
Susan
By , at
5:54 PM
Hoping today has been as comfortable as possible with no untoward side effects. As with the Sigars family, you are almost constantly on the mind of this complete stranger down in California! Wishing you strength for the battle that's raging within your body at the moment. Also, sending hugs!
Carroll
By , at
8:04 PM
Janet, I firmly believe that your every thought is a prayer to our Lord. He knows you and your spirit. He, as in the poem footprints, is carrying you in your most difficult time. Celebrate Life, Lani
By , at
9:46 PM
Now I have this image of you, Janet, reaching into your toolbox, rummaging around, and pulling out your favorite prayer. And there you are - armed and ready for action! Keep on keepin' on.
Peace,
Sue
Describing chemo as extremely calming can only come from a marriage of stoic English-ness and Seattle cool! I am in awe.
Hoping for good weather and warmth for you and maybe even a tan. Pedicure sounds good - I always feel like I am on vacation if I get nails done since I normally don't.
Rooting for you all the way from here... -susan/sonia
By , at
1:33 PM
Your 'sisters' are reeling right along with you on the suddenness of all this. Prayer after prayer goes out daily from each of us. My extra special one is accompanied by lighting a candle at Trnity's regular Saturday night Eucharist. This one is for Janet,Lord! Lovingly, Norma H.
By , at
3:57 PM
I'm visualizing that chemo going in there and getting the cancer at this very moment. Hang in there, Janet!
We are still praying Janet. You stay strong!
By Brother Terry:, at
6:53 AM
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