Thursday, July 10, 2008
When we first moved to Seattle, our second place to live was a little rental house. The front yard had several hydrangea bushes. I had never seen anything quite like them before and have loved them ever since. Montana is not the place for these flowering bushes and when we lived in Kansas City, we were not exactly in a neighborhood with lovely gardens. Our hydrangea is gorgeous right now so I thought I'd include a photo I just took.
The only way I am living my life right now is one moment to the next and one day at a time. I have no idea the date or day of the week a good share of the time. But the hydrangea bush being in full bloom reminds me we are in the full swing of summer. Kaley is leaving today for Italy for two weeks to participate in an opera festival. She is beside herself with excitement and I am so happy for her. Lucas is looking for jobs and apartments. He had a big interview yesterday. Magali will be here soon to begin her studies at the UW. Because of everything I am going through, I am on the fringes of their activities but I am enjoying watching them beginning their young lives.
My tears do flow frequently. The tears I do not like are those when I am feeling sorry for myself. The world is full of suffering people. I am not special and there is no reason for me to be immune or protected from disease any more than anyone else. The other tears I experience are from being overwhelmed at the love, prayers, and support I am receiving from so many people. I'm just this little old Mom who decided to not practice law so I could be with my children. I have quietly lived my life trying to be an honest and nice person and caring about other people. I just had no idea. What got me today was reading Denny's comment below. He will be thinking about our family as he participates in a cycling portion of a cancer fund raiser in Hanover, NH. Denny is a good friend of Lucas and I have always thought he was a remarkable young man. His parents have also given me their support and I appreciate it so much.
Kaley did a wonderful deed for me last night--again involving her friend. Supposedly, the chemo I am receiving does not cause the significant hair loss that breast cancer chemo causes. When my oncologist saw my hair, he said it would thin out but because I have quite a bit, it may not be too noticable. My decision was to cut my hair shorter to help with the issue. I am not feeling well enough to go to a salon but my daughter came through. She has a friend, Carla, she went to high school with who is training in cosmetology. Her older sister is Kaley's hair dresser. This lovely young woman came to our house last night after a full day's work and cut my hair into a cute shorter style. Not only did she do this but she said she would help with whatever else I might need for my hair as I go through this process. We did have a little trouble with Apolo wanting to help. He was kind of acting like a dust buster with my hair all over the kitchen floor.
I am so grateful that I do not have to go through all of this alone. Blessings are pouring upon me every single day.
5 Comments:
Janet,
I'm sharing a tear with you today!
Thanks for your kind words.
We send you our love and hold you in our hearts!
The Goulets
By 
, at
3:25 PM
Janet,
I guess today is the Goulet day. You have touched us deeply, as you have so many others. It is an honor to share with you in some very small way your journey down this difficult path you are traveling. Many will simply withdraw when they are faced with illness or difficulties. I believe there is no time when we are stronger than when allow ourselves to lean on others. Your sharing makes us all better and, I hope, makes your burden a little lighter. We are very proud of the man Denny has become, and it is friends like Lucas who have brought him there. Thank you for your kind words about Denny. As Denny rides this weekend, we too, will have you in our hearts and minds.
Larry Goulet
By , at
3:57 PM
Okay Janet, I am trying to post on your blog, but this is my first experience and my first comment just disappeared. Soooo complex.
We missed you tonight at the meeting and got a full (respectful and hopeful) review of how your month has been progressing. I learned of your blog and have been reading your wonderful "musings".
I sent in a prayer request on our prayer chain and this is the prayer that has been attached to my request, just for you:
Let nothing disturb me, nothing frighten me. Let nothing take away my peace. May I wait with trust, with patience, knowing you will provide for me. I lack for nothing in you, God. You are my strong foundation. You are enough for me. --Joyce Rupp, from The Cup of Life
We spent money at June's meeting, so of course, we did not spend money tonight. Amgen is once again holding up our portfolio....what a buy that was!!!
I do hope Kaley has a wonderful trip...opera...wow! And we wish Lucas well with finding a job..
Be strong, dig deep and on your more difficult days, just give me a call and I can be strong and dig deep for you, or do any little thing you need (or big thing).
Love, Sam
By , at
12:26 AM
Thank you Sam for the wonderful comment.
By , at
11:35 AM
Janet, You are amazing, once again looking for the best, the good in the most distressing of situations. You do have a phenomenal house, one to be proud of. The light, warmth and beautiful surroundings are comfortable and dreamy. You are right to find the joy in it and everything else around you.
I often think of this poem when I am both grateful and feeling a little guilty about all we have compared to others. I'm sure you've seen it before.
God Won’t Ask
God won’t ask what kind of car you drove, but He’ll ask how many people you drove who didn’t have transportation.
God won’t ask the square footage of your house, but He’ll ask how many people you welcomed into your home.
God won’t ask about the clothes you had in your closet, but He’ll ask how many you helped to clothe.
God won’t ask about your social statue; He will ask what kind of class you displayed.
God won’t ask how many material possessions you had, but He’ll ask if they dictated your life.
God won’t ask what your highest salary was, but He’ll ask if you compromised your character to obtain it.
God won’t ask how much overtime you worked, but He’ll ask if your overtime work was for yourself or for your family.
God won’t ask how many promotions you received, but He’ll ask how you promoted others.
God won’t ask what your job title was, but He’ll ask if you performed your job to the best of your ability.
God won’t ask what you did to help yourself, but He’ll ask what you did to help others.
God won’t ask how many friends you had, but He’ll ask how many people to whom you were a friend.
God won’t ask what you did to protect your rights, but He’ll ask what you did to protect the rights of others.
God won’t ask in what neighborhood you lived, but He’ll ask how you treated your neighbors.
God won’t ask about the color of your skin, but He’ll ask how you treated your neighbors.
God won’t ask how many times your deeds matched your words, but He’ll ask how many times they didn’t.
What a beautiful, giving and loving person you are. Celebrate Life, Lani
By , at
10:04 AM
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