Thursday, July 10, 2008

A Day at a Time

When we first moved to Seattle, our second place to live was a little rental house. The front yard had several hydrangea bushes. I had never seen anything quite like them before and have loved them ever since. Montana is not the place for these flowering bushes and when we lived in Kansas City, we were not exactly in a neighborhood with lovely gardens. Our hydrangea is gorgeous right now so I thought I'd include a photo I just took.

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The only way I am living my life right now is one moment to the next and one day at a time. I have no idea the date or day of the week a good share of the time. But the hydrangea bush being in full bloom reminds me we are in the full swing of summer. Kaley is leaving today for Italy for two weeks to participate in an opera festival. She is beside herself with excitement and I am so happy for her. Lucas is looking for jobs and apartments. He had a big interview yesterday. Magali will be here soon to begin her studies at the UW. Because of everything I am going through, I am on the fringes of their activities but I am enjoying watching them beginning their young lives.

My tears do flow frequently. The tears I do not like are those when I am feeling sorry for myself. The world is full of suffering people. I am not special and there is no reason for me to be immune or protected from disease any more than anyone else. The other tears I experience are from being overwhelmed at the love, prayers, and support I am receiving from so many people. I'm just this little old Mom who decided to not practice law so I could be with my children. I have quietly lived my life trying to be an honest and nice person and caring about other people. I just had no idea. What got me today was reading Denny's comment below. He will be thinking about our family as he participates in a cycling portion of a cancer fund raiser in Hanover, NH. Denny is a good friend of Lucas and I have always thought he was a remarkable young man. His parents have also given me their support and I appreciate it so much.

Kaley did a wonderful deed for me last night--again involving her friend. Supposedly, the chemo I am receiving does not cause the significant hair loss that breast cancer chemo causes. When my oncologist saw my hair, he said it would thin out but because I have quite a bit, it may not be too noticable. My decision was to cut my hair shorter to help with the issue. I am not feeling well enough to go to a salon but my daughter came through. She has a friend, Carla, she went to high school with who is training in cosmetology. Her older sister is Kaley's hair dresser. This lovely young woman came to our house last night after a full day's work and cut my hair into a cute shorter style. Not only did she do this but she said she would help with whatever else I might need for my hair as I go through this process. We did have a little trouble with Apolo wanting to help. He was kind of acting like a dust buster with my hair all over the kitchen floor.

I am so grateful that I do not have to go through all of this alone. Blessings are pouring upon me every single day.