Mukilteo Musings

Cancer Is Not For Wimps

I read this somewhere and it is true. Many of my friends and neighbors ask me how I am doing. Usually, I answer that I am doing ok. I do not want to say "fine" because a good share of the time I feel like I have a flu bug or I feel like I am pregnant. Those of you who have been pregnant understand how smells can be overpowering and how certain foods are no longer appealing. You feel tired or cranky, your feet or your back hurts, you may be anemic or nauseous and you want the whole thing to be over with. Definitely, some days are better than others. Hardly ever do I feel "normal."

The day before yesterday was a good day. First of all, I had my blood drawn at the hospital with Dave, but then I went to the Post Office and grocery store by myself because he had some work issues to take care of for most of the day. It was the first time I had driven to do errands since before my diagnosis. At home, I cleaned up dog poop and watered all of my flowers. Of course, I topped it off with my 1.7m walk without Dave. Apolo seemed to know he needed to behave with me alone. It was joyous to do my ordinary routine activities. Absolutely wonderful.

I do have a problem with clothes. They are all baggy on me and it is driving Dave nuts so he has been bringing home pants from Costco for me to try on. My weight has remained steady lately but I lost 14 or 15 pounds at the beginning. I am 5'8" and my steady weight before all of this was 133-137. Now I weigh 120 and in my opinion this is way too skinny. I cannot believe that during high school and college, I wanted desperately to weigh about 120 pounds. My normal pant size is a 10 but now I am down to a 6. What baffles me is all of the women who would like to wear a size 2 or zero! What baffles me more are those who actually fit into size 4 and under. How is it even possible??

American weight loss propaganda is crazy. The ads on TV are driving me insane! Those obese people whose weight is affecting their health should take some steps to be healthier. But the rest of you who are worried about 5, 10 or 20 pounds should focus on a healthy diet and exercise and forget about losing anything. You never know, you may need the extra pounds some day. Seriously, I wish I had had an extra 15!

I do not like the bony feeling and I do not understand how young starlets think boniness is at all attractive. I am curious. If you took an average sized female skeleton and put clothes on it, I wonder what size they would be??!!