Mukilteo Musings

Expletives

Ok, I am human and so is my family. It is true this cancer thing has opened my eyes to my faith. Connections are being made. Bible verses are making sense. Prayers have become more meaningful. I was grateful for the Gospel last Sunday. This determined Mom starts bugging Jesus to heal her daughter. And guess what? Jesus became quite perturbed with her and wanted her to quit harassing them. Yes, God's Son had this very human side. I liked my priest's sermon about it. We want to believe in Christ who has experienced normal human emotions. Jesus dismisses her and then accepts her and of course, her daughter is healed.

So back to my point. Our new bathroom has no blinds and it looks out onto Puget Sound but also our back yard. With everything that has been going on, blinds are not top priority. Besides, nobody can see into the bathroom unless they are standing out in the back yard. OR, perhaps the lawn people could see very clearly if they were to come when someone was in the shower. LIKE THIS MORNING. Supposedly, they are scheduled to come on Thursdays. Isn't today Tuesday? Yes, I had chemo yesterday and I am hooked up to my friendly companion, the Pump, with tubes into my shoulder where the port is under my skin to allow the toxic drugs to continue their bad ass assault on Tum and his buddies.

It takes me a while to get ready for a shower when hooked up to my pump. My hands have neuropathy the day after chemo, though they have given me some additives to my chemo that have helped tremendously. Anyway, with difficulty, I cut tape and attach it to a small plastic bag to cover my port entrance on my shoulder. Then I put the pump into another plastic bag. With all of my clothes ready in a certain spot, I get into my lovely, comfortable shower. Luckily, I was mostly finished when I heard the lawn mower.

But damn, this poor cancer patient all hooked up to tubes and all slippery and wet with gimpy hands had to cut short my shower, dive to my knees and crawl out of the shower. Along the hard tile floor, I dragged myself and my towel and clothing into the tiny toilet closet to dry off, peel off plastic, and get dressed. I realized the bathroom window was open and I suppose the sound of the lawn mower drowned out the bad words coming freely from my mouth. Then I remembered that there is plenty of dog poop out there because, they are supposed to come on THURSDAY. I am feeling happy at this moment that they had to mow over and step in dog poop for interrupting my shower. Like I said, I am human.

My husband is human, too. Let's just say colon cancer chemo does not send women into chemically induced menopause like breast cancer chemo. To be not so subtle about this matter, I still get PMS. Understandably, men do not respond well to this syndrome. Life is still life, even with cancer and the other night, I wasn't so nice to my husband and it made him not so happy with me for about 15 minutes. The next morning the explanation arrived for my nastiness and his. I don't know--it just made me laugh.

But last night! Oh yes, last night the expletives and deleteds swirled wildly in our household. My family is in constant car chaos. I believe I am ready to write a four part series about why we ended up in the Police Beat section of our local paper, the Mukilteo Beacon, last January. Our old 1986 Chevy suburban we inherited when Dave's Dad died has found a new home as of a week ago with some wealthy earth friendly people in the San Juan Islands. It will be used sparingly to haul guests and occasionally a boat. With the money, we bought Lucas a used Subaru Outback because our 1987 Jeep that he has been driving is.....is not in good shape. In fact, it barely makes it up the hill out of our neighborhood these days. Lucas and Magali are moving into an apartment near the UW and over the last week, our household has been finding furniture and household items on Craig's list and picking them up with the various cars we own. Often, with used cars, you end up with one set of keys.

Yes, one set of keys. Lucas had a deadline of 6 PM to pick up some chairs in Lake Stevens. He was planning to use our Honda Pilot. At this point, both Dave and Lucas are regretting getting rid of the Chevy Suburban so soon when they knew all of this hauling business was going to be happening. The mattress store called to say the mattress set was ready to be picked up and the landlord wanted to meet with the kids to explain outlets and so forth at about 8 PM. The plan was to send Lucas off and then Dave would meet him in Seattle at the apartment with the mattress strapped to the top of the Subaru. Dave backed the Subaru out of the driveway and partly into the street, got out to check something and.....he shut the door. The car was locked and running.

I had just had chemo and was feeling like a truck had run over me when all of this was occurring. Everyone came into the house in a mad frenzy. Lucas was mad at Dave. Dave was expleting all over the place. "Ok, I do not need this stress! Call a lock and key place. Geez!" I then covered my ears and and sang "La La La" until they all left the room. Lucas left to get the chairs. Dave ran around like a chicken with his head cut off while the Subaru continued to emit CO2 out in our driveway. He called about five places with some saying the soonest they could arrive would be one hour. Finally, Dave contacted Cascade Lock and Key and they arrived in five minutes and took five minutes to solve the problem. And off Dave went.

When we went to bed last night, Dave was helping me tape my tubing to keep me from rolling on it while I sleep. I started laughing until my stomach hurt. "What's so funny?"

"YOU! When you locked the keys in the car! It was really quite hysterical. You have to realize it was very funny."

Whew! Can't this cancer patient have some peace and quiet? Of course not. Not all of time....because my family is human.