Monday, August 11, 2008

Top Ten Good Things About Having Cancer

10. My children have become remarkably independent. Not only are they helping me but they are taking care of their own needs.

9. My husband will do anything for me and if I give him the "look" about his laptop, he will turn it off. And it is not allowed in our bedroom and bathroom which is MY sanctuary.

8. I can say and do whatever I want even if that means making a joke that might be considered naughty----like what our rolled up flank steak looked like last night. However, it was a delicious gift from a friend and we enjoyed it. I even was able to eat some of it.

7. I can drink Mai Tai mix without the alcohol, close my eyes, and pretend I am in Hawaii for a few minutes.

6. I have received so many cool gifts including a hand made shawl from my church and a beautiful afghan from a friend of my mother's which is cozy and my favorite colors.

5. If I feel like being lazy, I do not have to apologize to anyone.

4. I do not feel like I am wasting time if I read the Sunday comics which I have now started doing.

3. When I have days when I do not feel so well, it just makes the good days even better---kind of like when you stop banging your head against the wall, it feels so good.

2. I am like a walking citronella candle. I have so many toxic chemicals in me, one little circle around the deck eliminates the mosquitoes. And if any of them stay behind and bite me, they drop dead.

1. And finally, the number one good thing about having cancer: I can tell phone survey people to get lost. Yesterday, the phone rang and I thought perhaps it was a political survey which I do not mind responding to. You know, how they never give you a chance to say anything before they launch into the survey. This guy started to list about 80 different shampoos and asked me which products I used. I told him my shampoo but then he started with conditioners and other hair products. I then told him I did not want to continue with the survey because I was undergoing chemotherapy and I was losing my hair and it was just too much for me to answer questions about hair products. "Oh, ma'am, I am so so so sorry to bother you. Really, I am so sorry. Take care, good bye!" I cracked up after I hung up the phone. How wicked of me! Yes, my hair is shedding but I have not lost it.