Wednesday, July 30, 2008
My Household
Craziness! On top of my daily issues which usually involve tough mornings while I try to eat and get my damaged system moving, if you know what I mean, we have Lucas to deal with. Technically, he was classified as a student in Chile even though he was teaching which meant he could still be on our insurance with a grace period until his job benefits kick in. As such, we scheduled him for surgery for removal of a pilonidal cyst he has had for several years. I guess these things tend to be familial. His first cousin had the very same thing. Lucas' became infected while in France last fall, and the doctor said it needed to be removed. Last Thursday, he had a giant gaping hole carved into his body. Dave is taking care of him by changing the dressings, keeping it clean and taking him to doctor appointments. To be honest, even if I was up to my normal everyday activities, Dave would still be doing this rather unpleasant job. I knew when I was 14, I could never be a nurse or a doctor.
On Sunday afternoon, our priest, Cynthia, came to our house to do the Eucharist for tired Dave, patient Lucas and cancer me. I loved it. It was a complete joy to have this intimate time for prayer, tears, and laughter. I mean we were kind of a pathetic little group.
Next, on Monday, our beautiful daughter returned from her trip to the Amalfi Coast of Italy where she participated in an opera festival. She came back full of stories and pictures about all of the wonderful people, the friends she made, and the gorgeous voices of all involved. Kaley received some positive feedback about her voice and she learned some technique she will be able to put to use. After all of the frantic phone calls about her infected foot, it finally did heal with a significant scar and after some powerful antibiotics. At least Dave doesn't have to be nursemaid to her too!
Lucas' girlfriend, Magali, is still in California doing a Fulbright scholar orientation before she returns to Seattle to continue her studies at the UW law school. I have her permission to tell about some of her "Magaliisms" which make her so endearing. First of all, she speaks fabulous and rapid English. She is easy to understand and she writes and reads highly difficult materials in English. But sometimes, a word or two gets a bit mixed up. When Lucas told her about the word for hummingbird, she later repeated it in conversation as "humping birds." When Lucas was applying for this particular job he landed, during the interview process, Magali told him she was certain he would get the job because he was such a "weener" (meaning winner, of course). Finally, last night, this darling girl who was raised in the Alps and is undoubtedly unfamiliar with some of our American crawly things, told Lucas about the horrible "cockrocks" in the bathroom!
Craziness! On top of my daily issues which usually involve tough mornings while I try to eat and get my damaged system moving, if you know what I mean, we have Lucas to deal with. Technically, he was classified as a student in Chile even though he was teaching which meant he could still be on our insurance with a grace period until his job benefits kick in. As such, we scheduled him for surgery for removal of a pilonidal cyst he has had for several years. I guess these things tend to be familial. His first cousin had the very same thing. Lucas' became infected while in France last fall, and the doctor said it needed to be removed. Last Thursday, he had a giant gaping hole carved into his body. Dave is taking care of him by changing the dressings, keeping it clean and taking him to doctor appointments. To be honest, even if I was up to my normal everyday activities, Dave would still be doing this rather unpleasant job. I knew when I was 14, I could never be a nurse or a doctor.
On Sunday afternoon, our priest, Cynthia, came to our house to do the Eucharist for tired Dave, patient Lucas and cancer me. I loved it. It was a complete joy to have this intimate time for prayer, tears, and laughter. I mean we were kind of a pathetic little group.
Next, on Monday, our beautiful daughter returned from her trip to the Amalfi Coast of Italy where she participated in an opera festival. She came back full of stories and pictures about all of the wonderful people, the friends she made, and the gorgeous voices of all involved. Kaley received some positive feedback about her voice and she learned some technique she will be able to put to use. After all of the frantic phone calls about her infected foot, it finally did heal with a significant scar and after some powerful antibiotics. At least Dave doesn't have to be nursemaid to her too!
Lucas' girlfriend, Magali, is still in California doing a Fulbright scholar orientation before she returns to Seattle to continue her studies at the UW law school. I have her permission to tell about some of her "Magaliisms" which make her so endearing. First of all, she speaks fabulous and rapid English. She is easy to understand and she writes and reads highly difficult materials in English. But sometimes, a word or two gets a bit mixed up. When Lucas told her about the word for hummingbird, she later repeated it in conversation as "humping birds." When Lucas was applying for this particular job he landed, during the interview process, Magali told him she was certain he would get the job because he was such a "weener" (meaning winner, of course). Finally, last night, this darling girl who was raised in the Alps and is undoubtedly unfamiliar with some of our American crawly things, told Lucas about the horrible "cockrocks" in the bathroom!
// posted by Janet @ 1:20 PM
3 comments
Sunday, July 27, 2008
How Many Ways Can We Say It?
Peace of mind, contentment, serenity, chillin', calmness, relaxation......? It is difficult to come up with all of the words in our language that represent this state of being. In the last month and a half, beleive me, I have learned a tremendous amount about trying to achieve peace of mind. To me, it is letting God's spirit take hold within you so that you see the world around you through His eyes. And then you love and treat others accordingly.
I have tended to be one of those people who perhaps did not let out my feelings. Resentments I internalized. Grudges would stay with me---festering. This is not a good equation for avoiding cancer no matter how healthy one's diet is. Obviously, I am not going to go into a boat load of specific details but there were times when Dave traveled extensively leaving me with two small children who had a number of activities happening at the same time. Of course, my friends were equally as busy and I had no family to help. One particular winter, the kids both had chicken pox one after the other, bronchitis and ear infections. I ended up with pneumonia from sheer exhaustion. Dave was on the east coast and my doctor told me point blank that I needed to demand that he return or I would end up hospitalized. He left the middle of a meeting and took the next flight home; I was prescribed antibiotics and things improved. The following summer, Dave had a fishing trip to Alaska planned but he realized the winter had been particularly hard on me. As such, he knew he owed me big time so my Mom and I decided to take a cruise to Alaska. It was the break I needed from my children and my life at that moment. Dave still went on his fishing trip, of course, but he learned that my job of full-time parenting while he was often absent was not easy.
Frustrations we all have with other people beyond our families is also particularly rampant. Last Friday night in Seattle, bicyclists participated in a monthly Critical Mass bike ride to demonstrate that our streets should be available for both bikers and drivers. Yes, the bicyclists block traffic at certain intersections for a few minutes to make their point. A couple in a Subaru became irritated even though some bikers told them the bikes would pass in only a few minutes. The driver of the car proclaimed they were late for a reservation and he proceeded to drive into the bicyclists. A couple of no-doubt expensive bikes were smashed and at least one person was hurt. The bicyclists then turned on the driver of the Subaru, flattened his tires, smashed his windows, and a bicyclist assaulted him. All of this happened over annoyance about being late for a reservation. Yes, this happened in ultra-polite Seattle.
http://seattletimes.nwsource.com/html/localnews/2008075512_reading27.html
I am just going to throw out this speculation. I bet none of the folks involved are suffering from cancer. Annoyances and irritations that used to be major now seem ridiculous to me. When Dave or Lucas becomes upset with something about the computer, I now ask, "Is it really a life or death matter?" Dave has been working in the yard a lot and he was complaining about arthritis in his little finger last night.
"Man, this is killing me--my little finger!"
"Oh, is it really? It is really killing you?" I chided.
Drivers have little patience for bicyclists if they slow them down for a block or two. Neighbors get upset with neighbors all over the Seattle area because of fence lines or bushes or trees. Tempers blow up in fast food restaurants and people get shot. Drivers become enraged if someone cuts them off while merging onto I-5. Parents at children's sports events get all worked up if their kid doesn't get to play enough. The list can go on and on.
But when you are forced by traumatic events to strive for peace of mind, becoming upset over trivial matters seems beyond absurd. I catch myself frequently thinking about things that perhaps used to bother me, "You know, that simply does not matter--not one bit." And then I smile.
If only all of the people involved in the incident on Friday night had chosen to chill a little bit!
Peace of mind, contentment, serenity, chillin', calmness, relaxation......? It is difficult to come up with all of the words in our language that represent this state of being. In the last month and a half, beleive me, I have learned a tremendous amount about trying to achieve peace of mind. To me, it is letting God's spirit take hold within you so that you see the world around you through His eyes. And then you love and treat others accordingly.
I have tended to be one of those people who perhaps did not let out my feelings. Resentments I internalized. Grudges would stay with me---festering. This is not a good equation for avoiding cancer no matter how healthy one's diet is. Obviously, I am not going to go into a boat load of specific details but there were times when Dave traveled extensively leaving me with two small children who had a number of activities happening at the same time. Of course, my friends were equally as busy and I had no family to help. One particular winter, the kids both had chicken pox one after the other, bronchitis and ear infections. I ended up with pneumonia from sheer exhaustion. Dave was on the east coast and my doctor told me point blank that I needed to demand that he return or I would end up hospitalized. He left the middle of a meeting and took the next flight home; I was prescribed antibiotics and things improved. The following summer, Dave had a fishing trip to Alaska planned but he realized the winter had been particularly hard on me. As such, he knew he owed me big time so my Mom and I decided to take a cruise to Alaska. It was the break I needed from my children and my life at that moment. Dave still went on his fishing trip, of course, but he learned that my job of full-time parenting while he was often absent was not easy.
Frustrations we all have with other people beyond our families is also particularly rampant. Last Friday night in Seattle, bicyclists participated in a monthly Critical Mass bike ride to demonstrate that our streets should be available for both bikers and drivers. Yes, the bicyclists block traffic at certain intersections for a few minutes to make their point. A couple in a Subaru became irritated even though some bikers told them the bikes would pass in only a few minutes. The driver of the car proclaimed they were late for a reservation and he proceeded to drive into the bicyclists. A couple of no-doubt expensive bikes were smashed and at least one person was hurt. The bicyclists then turned on the driver of the Subaru, flattened his tires, smashed his windows, and a bicyclist assaulted him. All of this happened over annoyance about being late for a reservation. Yes, this happened in ultra-polite Seattle.
http://seattletimes.nwsource.com/html/localnews/2008075512_reading27.html
I am just going to throw out this speculation. I bet none of the folks involved are suffering from cancer. Annoyances and irritations that used to be major now seem ridiculous to me. When Dave or Lucas becomes upset with something about the computer, I now ask, "Is it really a life or death matter?" Dave has been working in the yard a lot and he was complaining about arthritis in his little finger last night.
"Man, this is killing me--my little finger!"
"Oh, is it really? It is really killing you?" I chided.
Drivers have little patience for bicyclists if they slow them down for a block or two. Neighbors get upset with neighbors all over the Seattle area because of fence lines or bushes or trees. Tempers blow up in fast food restaurants and people get shot. Drivers become enraged if someone cuts them off while merging onto I-5. Parents at children's sports events get all worked up if their kid doesn't get to play enough. The list can go on and on.
But when you are forced by traumatic events to strive for peace of mind, becoming upset over trivial matters seems beyond absurd. I catch myself frequently thinking about things that perhaps used to bother me, "You know, that simply does not matter--not one bit." And then I smile.
If only all of the people involved in the incident on Friday night had chosen to chill a little bit!
// posted by Janet @ 3:24 PM
5 comments
Friday, July 25, 2008
July Sunset
Sunset last night.
My Mom left this morning. She claims I have improved quite a bit since she was visiting the first time. I agree with her. I am feeling more normal instead of sick all of the time. The food thing is still a problem with dinners being the most difficult.
I am still thinking about the marijuana option as private offers continue to trickle in. The problem is, marijuana is still highly illegal according to the feds and law school 101 tells you that federal law trumps state law. As such, joining the medical marijuana community in Seattle is like entering the witness protection program. I have had at least three mysterious calls where they have had to check out my doctor and me to verify I am trying to obtain it for legal reasons. Recently, there was a police raid on a medical marijuana clinic in Seattle where they took patient records and snooped around. Evidently, a neighbor smelled marijuana and called the police. I do believe these may be the same folks I have been communicating with. The police realized they had made a mistake and nothing came of it. However, it all makes you realize how risky this can be. In order to be able to obtain marijuana, I would have to participate in an orientation meeting informing me of the law and what I can and cannot do. Frankly, I am not physically up to something like this. I would simply like a prescription with directions on how and when to take it.
It is maddening when there is a widely available though illegal substance that apparently works well for many people allowing a return of appetite, enjoyment of food, and weight gain for strength. The legal man-made pot that I took several days ago which is known to not work as well as the real thing cost $700 a bottle. Yep! It makes you wonder if somebody is more interested in profit than the well-being of sick and injured people.
My doctors prescribed for me another medication to help with appetite and weight gain and I am giving it a try now. One of the side effects is diarrhea which I do not need. The good news is that Henry's Donut and Costco muffins have kept me from losing more weight. But I want to feel like I am able to enjoy a lovely dinner. That's all!
After sunset last night.
Sunset last night.
My Mom left this morning. She claims I have improved quite a bit since she was visiting the first time. I agree with her. I am feeling more normal instead of sick all of the time. The food thing is still a problem with dinners being the most difficult.
I am still thinking about the marijuana option as private offers continue to trickle in. The problem is, marijuana is still highly illegal according to the feds and law school 101 tells you that federal law trumps state law. As such, joining the medical marijuana community in Seattle is like entering the witness protection program. I have had at least three mysterious calls where they have had to check out my doctor and me to verify I am trying to obtain it for legal reasons. Recently, there was a police raid on a medical marijuana clinic in Seattle where they took patient records and snooped around. Evidently, a neighbor smelled marijuana and called the police. I do believe these may be the same folks I have been communicating with. The police realized they had made a mistake and nothing came of it. However, it all makes you realize how risky this can be. In order to be able to obtain marijuana, I would have to participate in an orientation meeting informing me of the law and what I can and cannot do. Frankly, I am not physically up to something like this. I would simply like a prescription with directions on how and when to take it.
It is maddening when there is a widely available though illegal substance that apparently works well for many people allowing a return of appetite, enjoyment of food, and weight gain for strength. The legal man-made pot that I took several days ago which is known to not work as well as the real thing cost $700 a bottle. Yep! It makes you wonder if somebody is more interested in profit than the well-being of sick and injured people.
My doctors prescribed for me another medication to help with appetite and weight gain and I am giving it a try now. One of the side effects is diarrhea which I do not need. The good news is that Henry's Donut and Costco muffins have kept me from losing more weight. But I want to feel like I am able to enjoy a lovely dinner. That's all!
After sunset last night.
// posted by Janet @ 3:04 PM
0 comments
Tuesday, July 22, 2008
Tough to Type
One of the cancer killing drugs I receive gives me a type of neuropathy in my fingers. They tingle and feel like a million pin pricks. Touching something cold really sets it off and typing on the computer aggravates it as well. It will wear off in a few days. As such, my blog post may not be as long today. I am the type of person who is able to work through pain. I am highly pain tolerant which may be one of the reasons I got into this pickle in the first place. I had no idea how sick I was and I failed to read the pain signals my body was giving me. I have always been able to ignore discomfort and go on with my plans. Fortunately, this characteristic may help me through the next months.
Yesterday, I had my third chemo and I am home wtih my little pal, the pump. At least this time we have had no hourly alarms. Apolo is funny. When I get home from treatment, he sniffs me over and sniffs the pump. Certainly, he is able to smell the strong chemicals, but he is just as affectionate with his Mommy as ever. My Mom is here now for a few days again and sat with me while I was being infused so Dave could hop over to the UW to actually do some work.
Chemo is actually kind of pleasant. Everyone at SCCA is terrific and attentive. I never feel sick because they give you plenty of anti-nausea and pain drugs at the same time. I appreciate the multiple vinyl pouches of deadly liquids entering my blood stream. They have a job to do from which I will benefit. About half way through, the liquids overwhelm my system, and I have to visit the bathroom every 15 or 20 minutes. I don't mind because it gets me up and off of the hospital bed. All by myself, I unplug the giant IV tree with the decorative bags from the wall and find an open bathroom. My Mom said it looked like I was taking an entire hospital with me down the hall. You see, a battery takes over when you unplug from the wall so for a short period of time you can be off and running.
I don't think I look terribly sick. Some of the folks at SCCA certainly do. I still have my hair and my color is good after the blood transfusion. And I feel pretty normal pushing my IV tree to the bathroom at break neck speed. I really do not want this particular illness to snuff me from this life. They say that people who live to be 100 do not necessarily arrive at that age disease or illness free. Many of them have survived cancers and other serious physical ailments. They key is the attitude they have had over the years that allowed them to get through difficult times and on to a ripe old age. This positive outlook is what I strive for.
My pattern seems to be that tomorrow, after I am unhooked from my pump, the yucky tiredness and flu-like feelings visit for a few days. My appetite disappears and it is difficult to feel upbeat. After that, I return to my new normal which consists of not so good days and better days. Each day tends to have parts where I am not feeling so well or am in pain and good chunks where I feel quite good. In fact, last week I walked every single day at least a mile. On Friday and Saturday, I walked my usual walk of 1.7 miles with hills and everything. On Sunday afternoon, I was climbing around our property behind our fence where Dave continues his battle with nettles and blackberry bushes to encourage the native growth. Then I cleaned up dog poop!
Yep, you learn to appreciate being able to do normal, everyday, mundane tasks.
You realize the beauty of ordinary life.
One of the cancer killing drugs I receive gives me a type of neuropathy in my fingers. They tingle and feel like a million pin pricks. Touching something cold really sets it off and typing on the computer aggravates it as well. It will wear off in a few days. As such, my blog post may not be as long today. I am the type of person who is able to work through pain. I am highly pain tolerant which may be one of the reasons I got into this pickle in the first place. I had no idea how sick I was and I failed to read the pain signals my body was giving me. I have always been able to ignore discomfort and go on with my plans. Fortunately, this characteristic may help me through the next months.
Yesterday, I had my third chemo and I am home wtih my little pal, the pump. At least this time we have had no hourly alarms. Apolo is funny. When I get home from treatment, he sniffs me over and sniffs the pump. Certainly, he is able to smell the strong chemicals, but he is just as affectionate with his Mommy as ever. My Mom is here now for a few days again and sat with me while I was being infused so Dave could hop over to the UW to actually do some work.
Chemo is actually kind of pleasant. Everyone at SCCA is terrific and attentive. I never feel sick because they give you plenty of anti-nausea and pain drugs at the same time. I appreciate the multiple vinyl pouches of deadly liquids entering my blood stream. They have a job to do from which I will benefit. About half way through, the liquids overwhelm my system, and I have to visit the bathroom every 15 or 20 minutes. I don't mind because it gets me up and off of the hospital bed. All by myself, I unplug the giant IV tree with the decorative bags from the wall and find an open bathroom. My Mom said it looked like I was taking an entire hospital with me down the hall. You see, a battery takes over when you unplug from the wall so for a short period of time you can be off and running.
I don't think I look terribly sick. Some of the folks at SCCA certainly do. I still have my hair and my color is good after the blood transfusion. And I feel pretty normal pushing my IV tree to the bathroom at break neck speed. I really do not want this particular illness to snuff me from this life. They say that people who live to be 100 do not necessarily arrive at that age disease or illness free. Many of them have survived cancers and other serious physical ailments. They key is the attitude they have had over the years that allowed them to get through difficult times and on to a ripe old age. This positive outlook is what I strive for.
My pattern seems to be that tomorrow, after I am unhooked from my pump, the yucky tiredness and flu-like feelings visit for a few days. My appetite disappears and it is difficult to feel upbeat. After that, I return to my new normal which consists of not so good days and better days. Each day tends to have parts where I am not feeling so well or am in pain and good chunks where I feel quite good. In fact, last week I walked every single day at least a mile. On Friday and Saturday, I walked my usual walk of 1.7 miles with hills and everything. On Sunday afternoon, I was climbing around our property behind our fence where Dave continues his battle with nettles and blackberry bushes to encourage the native growth. Then I cleaned up dog poop!
Yep, you learn to appreciate being able to do normal, everyday, mundane tasks.
You realize the beauty of ordinary life.
// posted by Janet @ 9:06 AM
2 comments
Saturday, July 19, 2008
I Believe in Miracles!
The incident happened too fast to get it on video, of course. Last evening was lovely so after dinner Dave, Lucas, and I were lounging on the back deck enjoying the setting sun and the boats on the Sound. It was quiet without even a breeze.
"Thud." I barely saw the tiny bird fly into our glass deck railing. A few minuscule feathers floated away.
"Oh no. You guys, I think that was a hummingbird?" I wondered with concern. Lucas hopped up and peered over the deck railing to the grass a few feet below.
"Ah, yea. Ooooh, he is blue and green and cool looking. Ah man. He is twitching. I think it is not good," Lucas sadly declared. At that moment, I almost started to cry for the senseless death of one of God's creatures. I pulled myself out of the comfortable lounge chair to see the poor thing. The little hummingbird wings were fully extended and gray. When you think about it, you never get to see hummingbird wings. I could not see his head. By this time, the small bird was motionless. Ah man. I was hoping this was not the same little guy my Mom and I enjoyed watching in our fountain. We watched and waited and hoped for what seemed to be about 10 minutes to see if he would snap out of it and fly away. But no.
"Lucas, go get the shovel and a sack and get rid of it before Apolo sees it." ordered Dave. Lucas went to the garage and retrieved a big sack and shovel and came back with one leather glove on his right hand as if he was going to pick up a dead porcupine. My kids are a tad queasy. All the while, I watched my little dead birdie.
Lucas inched slowly toward the hummingbird. He reached out with his gloved hand and stroked it with his finger. Up popped his little head with long pointy black beak which had been tucked down in the grass. "Yikes!" Lucas yelled.
"Shshsh, Lucas, quiet. Keep stroking him. It is like you are giving him CPR," whispered Dave. Unfortunately, the bird was terribly still and not interested in taking flight. Lucas decided to pick him up in the gloved hand. By this time, Apolo realized something exciting was going on and he lumbered off the deck to join his boy.
"Don't let Apolo get him! Don't let Apolo get him!" I pleaded. Apolo's nose was going crazy and he wanted Lucas' gloved hand. He bounced up and tried to reach as Lucas lifted his hand toward the sky. "No, no, no," I squealed. Dave started laughing. I didn't think a dead hummingbird was funny. Lucas, being afraid of bees, was certain the hummingbird's wings were going to begin buzzing and that he would be stung with the long beak. "Lucas, he is not a bee. He is a bird and he will not attack you, I promise. Besides, he's dead!"
My reluctant miracle worker started running around the backyard with his arm outstretched to keep Apolo from getting the bird and to keep it from stinging him. Dave was laughing like I'd never seen him laugh before. "Get the video. Get the video."
"What do I do? What do I do?" Lucas trembled. All of a sudden, the hummingbird recognized the madness surrounding him. Certainly, he spotted the shovel and sack intended for him on the lawn and the goofy Golden Retriever face with the crooked teeth and slobbery pink tongue all ready for an after dinner snack.
The tiny gray wings geared up. The hummingbird motor kicked in to the point the fluttering wings became invisible.
And he took off. All three of us were stunned. The dead bird flew away! The flight pattern was a bit crooked but he made up and over the fence into the neighbor's yard until we could no longer see him. A few minutes later, we spotted two hummingbirds flying together directly over our heads.
Not only did Lucas save a hummingbird but maybe he saved a hummingbird family.
The incident happened too fast to get it on video, of course. Last evening was lovely so after dinner Dave, Lucas, and I were lounging on the back deck enjoying the setting sun and the boats on the Sound. It was quiet without even a breeze.
"Thud." I barely saw the tiny bird fly into our glass deck railing. A few minuscule feathers floated away.
"Oh no. You guys, I think that was a hummingbird?" I wondered with concern. Lucas hopped up and peered over the deck railing to the grass a few feet below.
"Ah, yea. Ooooh, he is blue and green and cool looking. Ah man. He is twitching. I think it is not good," Lucas sadly declared. At that moment, I almost started to cry for the senseless death of one of God's creatures. I pulled myself out of the comfortable lounge chair to see the poor thing. The little hummingbird wings were fully extended and gray. When you think about it, you never get to see hummingbird wings. I could not see his head. By this time, the small bird was motionless. Ah man. I was hoping this was not the same little guy my Mom and I enjoyed watching in our fountain. We watched and waited and hoped for what seemed to be about 10 minutes to see if he would snap out of it and fly away. But no.
"Lucas, go get the shovel and a sack and get rid of it before Apolo sees it." ordered Dave. Lucas went to the garage and retrieved a big sack and shovel and came back with one leather glove on his right hand as if he was going to pick up a dead porcupine. My kids are a tad queasy. All the while, I watched my little dead birdie.
Lucas inched slowly toward the hummingbird. He reached out with his gloved hand and stroked it with his finger. Up popped his little head with long pointy black beak which had been tucked down in the grass. "Yikes!" Lucas yelled.
"Shshsh, Lucas, quiet. Keep stroking him. It is like you are giving him CPR," whispered Dave. Unfortunately, the bird was terribly still and not interested in taking flight. Lucas decided to pick him up in the gloved hand. By this time, Apolo realized something exciting was going on and he lumbered off the deck to join his boy.
"Don't let Apolo get him! Don't let Apolo get him!" I pleaded. Apolo's nose was going crazy and he wanted Lucas' gloved hand. He bounced up and tried to reach as Lucas lifted his hand toward the sky. "No, no, no," I squealed. Dave started laughing. I didn't think a dead hummingbird was funny. Lucas, being afraid of bees, was certain the hummingbird's wings were going to begin buzzing and that he would be stung with the long beak. "Lucas, he is not a bee. He is a bird and he will not attack you, I promise. Besides, he's dead!"
My reluctant miracle worker started running around the backyard with his arm outstretched to keep Apolo from getting the bird and to keep it from stinging him. Dave was laughing like I'd never seen him laugh before. "Get the video. Get the video."
"What do I do? What do I do?" Lucas trembled. All of a sudden, the hummingbird recognized the madness surrounding him. Certainly, he spotted the shovel and sack intended for him on the lawn and the goofy Golden Retriever face with the crooked teeth and slobbery pink tongue all ready for an after dinner snack.
The tiny gray wings geared up. The hummingbird motor kicked in to the point the fluttering wings became invisible.
And he took off. All three of us were stunned. The dead bird flew away! The flight pattern was a bit crooked but he made up and over the fence into the neighbor's yard until we could no longer see him. A few minutes later, we spotted two hummingbirds flying together directly over our heads.
Not only did Lucas save a hummingbird but maybe he saved a hummingbird family.
// posted by Janet @ 10:56 AM
5 comments
Friday, July 18, 2008
And Life Continues
1. Dave has been staying home with me since all of this started. After 30 years at the UW without ever having taken much vacation, he has their support. Of course, he is connected by phone and computer and is still managing to keep up. Also, he has done a bunch of things around the house from building a flower box and BBQ work station on our deck, to repainting a weathered part of the front of our house that has been bugging me for 4 years. He still is making me my smoothies and fixing meals. What a guy!
2. Lucas landed a full time job with benefits. And it is very much a Lucas job where he is able to use his language skills, his linguistic skills, and his geography skills. He said they have a library with language dictionaries and maps and other items making it akin to a candy store for Lucas. The company evaluates foreign credentials for different corporations hiring people from abroad. The company was started by someone from the University of Montana in Missoula so Lucas' UM degree helped. A big thank you to Larry and Chuck who I know put in a good word for my boy.
3. Kaley is in Italy participating in her opera festival. Unfortunately, she has developed an infected blister on her foot that isn't helping her. Positive thoughts for the healing of her foot so she can have some fun!
4. Dave and I each have a nephew named Scott. My nephew, Scott and his wife Megan just had a baby girl a couple of weeks ago which I had mentioned. Dave's nephew Scott and his wife were pregnant at the same time and their baby boy, Michael Alexander, was born yesterday in London, England. First babies for both.
5. I continue to be so grateful for the love and support from everyone. My neighbors have been so generous with gifts of cherries and flowers and hugs. One neighbor fixed us an entire dinner which came at a particular moment when we didn't know what we were going to do for dinner. It was halibut and it actually tasted good to me. Also, I feel so comfortable knowing that when I am alone because Dave has gone into a meeting (like now), I am surrounded by people who would help me if I needed something. I cannot express how secure this makes me feel.
6. We all have those skinny jeans in the drawer, right? Usually, it is a thing of joy and celebration to fit into the skinny jeans. Well, not for me. My clothes are hanging on me but I pulled out the skinny jeans. I do not think I have lost too much weight in the last two weeks. The big loss was from before. I would like to put on a few pounds but it is a challenge when I do not feel ravenous.
7. Actually, I am amazed at the number of our friends and acquaintances who have stepped out of the shadows to offer me pot. Oh my--I never knew! My oncologist is supportive and filled out the required papers for me to qualify for medical marijuana. Under the law, there is a place where I would be required to obtain it. It would not be legal for me to accept a little help from my friends. I am still thinking about it.
8. In the meantime, the doctor prescribed legal man-made pot in pill form. All of the information says it does not work as effectively as the real thing. I took one last night and it made me feel weird and dizzy. I did not feel euphoric nor did I particularly feel hungry. In fact, it sort of enhanced my propensity to worry and I could not follow "The Colbert Report." Anything that messes with my enjoyment of the "Daily Show" or Steven Colbert is not worth it. I don't know if the real thing would simply be an exaggeration of what I felt last night. If so, it does not appeal to me.
9. At least Henry's Donut works for me. Seriously, as long as I eat them in small amounts and slowly, they go down pretty well.
10. Finally, I have always believed in refrigerator goals. It has been kind of a family joke between Kaley and me. If there is something worth striving for---put it on the refrigerator and eventually, it will happen. I have put my list up and it includes simple things. The simple things in life are what are truly worthwhile like being able to go out to dinner and enjoy the food and wine.
1. Dave has been staying home with me since all of this started. After 30 years at the UW without ever having taken much vacation, he has their support. Of course, he is connected by phone and computer and is still managing to keep up. Also, he has done a bunch of things around the house from building a flower box and BBQ work station on our deck, to repainting a weathered part of the front of our house that has been bugging me for 4 years. He still is making me my smoothies and fixing meals. What a guy!
2. Lucas landed a full time job with benefits. And it is very much a Lucas job where he is able to use his language skills, his linguistic skills, and his geography skills. He said they have a library with language dictionaries and maps and other items making it akin to a candy store for Lucas. The company evaluates foreign credentials for different corporations hiring people from abroad. The company was started by someone from the University of Montana in Missoula so Lucas' UM degree helped. A big thank you to Larry and Chuck who I know put in a good word for my boy.
3. Kaley is in Italy participating in her opera festival. Unfortunately, she has developed an infected blister on her foot that isn't helping her. Positive thoughts for the healing of her foot so she can have some fun!
4. Dave and I each have a nephew named Scott. My nephew, Scott and his wife Megan just had a baby girl a couple of weeks ago which I had mentioned. Dave's nephew Scott and his wife were pregnant at the same time and their baby boy, Michael Alexander, was born yesterday in London, England. First babies for both.
5. I continue to be so grateful for the love and support from everyone. My neighbors have been so generous with gifts of cherries and flowers and hugs. One neighbor fixed us an entire dinner which came at a particular moment when we didn't know what we were going to do for dinner. It was halibut and it actually tasted good to me. Also, I feel so comfortable knowing that when I am alone because Dave has gone into a meeting (like now), I am surrounded by people who would help me if I needed something. I cannot express how secure this makes me feel.
6. We all have those skinny jeans in the drawer, right? Usually, it is a thing of joy and celebration to fit into the skinny jeans. Well, not for me. My clothes are hanging on me but I pulled out the skinny jeans. I do not think I have lost too much weight in the last two weeks. The big loss was from before. I would like to put on a few pounds but it is a challenge when I do not feel ravenous.
7. Actually, I am amazed at the number of our friends and acquaintances who have stepped out of the shadows to offer me pot. Oh my--I never knew! My oncologist is supportive and filled out the required papers for me to qualify for medical marijuana. Under the law, there is a place where I would be required to obtain it. It would not be legal for me to accept a little help from my friends. I am still thinking about it.
8. In the meantime, the doctor prescribed legal man-made pot in pill form. All of the information says it does not work as effectively as the real thing. I took one last night and it made me feel weird and dizzy. I did not feel euphoric nor did I particularly feel hungry. In fact, it sort of enhanced my propensity to worry and I could not follow "The Colbert Report." Anything that messes with my enjoyment of the "Daily Show" or Steven Colbert is not worth it. I don't know if the real thing would simply be an exaggeration of what I felt last night. If so, it does not appeal to me.
9. At least Henry's Donut works for me. Seriously, as long as I eat them in small amounts and slowly, they go down pretty well.
10. Finally, I have always believed in refrigerator goals. It has been kind of a family joke between Kaley and me. If there is something worth striving for---put it on the refrigerator and eventually, it will happen. I have put my list up and it includes simple things. The simple things in life are what are truly worthwhile like being able to go out to dinner and enjoy the food and wine.
// posted by Janet @ 12:02 PM
1 comments
Wednesday, July 16, 2008
Thirty-five Years Ago
Enough suffering and illness! Today I will post about our wedding. June 16 was our 35th anniversary. Before all of this cancer business happened, I was planning to write about it anyway. All of the friends who visited me last weekend were involved in our wedding and I regret I did not pull out pictures while they were here. In one of my scrap books, I found a newspaper article that had been written about our wedding and I was shocked with some of the hilarious details. Facts were mentioned that I did not even remember though I am probably the person who supplied the information.
My gosh! We were only 20!
We were married in Helena, Montana in 1973. Both Dave and I had grown up in Helena so of course, the wedding was held at the church where I had always attended. At the time, my parents had moved to Deer Lodge where my father became principal of the high school. He had been born and raised in Deer Lodge and was looking for a change after being in Helena for years. Deer Lodge is also where I was born. Deer Lodge is a small picturesque town 56 miles from Helena on the way to Butte. A few years later, my parents returned to Helena where my mother still lives.
In my scrap book, I have a tiny newspaper article from the Helena paper. However, the Butte and Deer Lodge newspapers came through with write-ups that made us look like celebrities. Back in those days, the society pages of the newspapers in small towns were a huge deal. Here is the column about the Janet-Dave wedding from Deer Lodge's Silver State Post. Obviously, I am not including last names:
Janet and Dave of Helena were married in Helena at St. Peter's Pro-Cathedral at 12 noon on Saturday. The Very Rev. Raymond performed the double ring ceremony before an altar flanked with flowers and candelabra. Dick T. sang "Beautiful," "Charity," and "Morning Has Broken" with Imogene as organist.
The bride's father, attired in a dark red sports jacket, gave her in marriage. Her long-sleeved wedding gown, made by her mother, was of organdy with eyelit trim and an eyelit apron trimmed with dark pink ribbon. Her headdress and veil were of simple organdy with lace trim. She wore heart earrings and locket and carried pink and red garden flowers on a Bilble belonging to her sister-in-law.
The maid of honor, Tina, wore a dark pink floor length gown with long sleeves and light pink pinafore. She carried pink and red garden flowers in a basket. The bride had four other attendants, Cathy, Leslie, Barb, and Vida. Tammy, the groom's niece was flower girl. The attendants' gowns were in different shades of pink with light pink pinafores. They also carried baskets of flowers.
The bride's mother was dressed in a long dark pink gown and had a pink carnation corsage. The groom's mother chose light pink for her long skirt. She had a dark pink carnation corsage. Mike, the grooms brother, was best man. Ushers were Jim, the bride's brother, Mike, Bob, and Randy. They wore maroon tuxedos. The groom was in a white tuxedo with a pink shirt.
The wedding reception was held in the parish hall where silver service, dishes, compotes and candelabra belonging to the groom's parents decorated the table. The wedding cake was chocolate with pink frosting and decorations of flowers. The bride's sisters-in-law poured. Annie and Cathy were in charge of the guest book.
The couple left for a wedding trip to the Washington coast, the bride wearing a pink seersucker pants outfit. Upon their return, they will live in Bozeman where they are both students at MSU. ......
The article goes on and on to list relatives and guests who were specifically from Deer Lodge and those who came from out of state. Naturally, a huge picture was with the article. I have to mention the scandalousness of our wedding. When my Mom was making my wedding dress, she was told the dark pink ribbon was inappropriate. Brides were supposed to be in all white. Red or dark pink symbolized impurity. The chocolate cake with pink frosting also caused an uproar. Wedding cakes were supposed to be white through and through which I thought to be boring. Nobody in my family liked white cake so I wanted chocolate. Finally, although our wedding was during the day time, we had candles lit everywhere. The church ladies kept telling me you did not do candles in the day. We had candles! Go ahead my dear readers and laugh at the long sleeve turtle neck dresses with aprons. At the time, I thought they were beautiful. I was trying to have a peasant flower garden type of thing.
It was a fun day and it makes me smile to think back. Who would have guessed that my good friends on that day would still be with me all of these years later??!!
Vida, Barb, Tina, me, Cathy and Leslie.
Enough suffering and illness! Today I will post about our wedding. June 16 was our 35th anniversary. Before all of this cancer business happened, I was planning to write about it anyway. All of the friends who visited me last weekend were involved in our wedding and I regret I did not pull out pictures while they were here. In one of my scrap books, I found a newspaper article that had been written about our wedding and I was shocked with some of the hilarious details. Facts were mentioned that I did not even remember though I am probably the person who supplied the information.
My gosh! We were only 20!
We were married in Helena, Montana in 1973. Both Dave and I had grown up in Helena so of course, the wedding was held at the church where I had always attended. At the time, my parents had moved to Deer Lodge where my father became principal of the high school. He had been born and raised in Deer Lodge and was looking for a change after being in Helena for years. Deer Lodge is also where I was born. Deer Lodge is a small picturesque town 56 miles from Helena on the way to Butte. A few years later, my parents returned to Helena where my mother still lives.
In my scrap book, I have a tiny newspaper article from the Helena paper. However, the Butte and Deer Lodge newspapers came through with write-ups that made us look like celebrities. Back in those days, the society pages of the newspapers in small towns were a huge deal. Here is the column about the Janet-Dave wedding from Deer Lodge's Silver State Post. Obviously, I am not including last names:
Janet and Dave of Helena were married in Helena at St. Peter's Pro-Cathedral at 12 noon on Saturday. The Very Rev. Raymond performed the double ring ceremony before an altar flanked with flowers and candelabra. Dick T. sang "Beautiful," "Charity," and "Morning Has Broken" with Imogene as organist.
The bride's father, attired in a dark red sports jacket, gave her in marriage. Her long-sleeved wedding gown, made by her mother, was of organdy with eyelit trim and an eyelit apron trimmed with dark pink ribbon. Her headdress and veil were of simple organdy with lace trim. She wore heart earrings and locket and carried pink and red garden flowers on a Bilble belonging to her sister-in-law.
The maid of honor, Tina, wore a dark pink floor length gown with long sleeves and light pink pinafore. She carried pink and red garden flowers in a basket. The bride had four other attendants, Cathy, Leslie, Barb, and Vida. Tammy, the groom's niece was flower girl. The attendants' gowns were in different shades of pink with light pink pinafores. They also carried baskets of flowers.
The bride's mother was dressed in a long dark pink gown and had a pink carnation corsage. The groom's mother chose light pink for her long skirt. She had a dark pink carnation corsage. Mike, the grooms brother, was best man. Ushers were Jim, the bride's brother, Mike, Bob, and Randy. They wore maroon tuxedos. The groom was in a white tuxedo with a pink shirt.
The wedding reception was held in the parish hall where silver service, dishes, compotes and candelabra belonging to the groom's parents decorated the table. The wedding cake was chocolate with pink frosting and decorations of flowers. The bride's sisters-in-law poured. Annie and Cathy were in charge of the guest book.
The couple left for a wedding trip to the Washington coast, the bride wearing a pink seersucker pants outfit. Upon their return, they will live in Bozeman where they are both students at MSU. ......
The article goes on and on to list relatives and guests who were specifically from Deer Lodge and those who came from out of state. Naturally, a huge picture was with the article. I have to mention the scandalousness of our wedding. When my Mom was making my wedding dress, she was told the dark pink ribbon was inappropriate. Brides were supposed to be in all white. Red or dark pink symbolized impurity. The chocolate cake with pink frosting also caused an uproar. Wedding cakes were supposed to be white through and through which I thought to be boring. Nobody in my family liked white cake so I wanted chocolate. Finally, although our wedding was during the day time, we had candles lit everywhere. The church ladies kept telling me you did not do candles in the day. We had candles! Go ahead my dear readers and laugh at the long sleeve turtle neck dresses with aprons. At the time, I thought they were beautiful. I was trying to have a peasant flower garden type of thing.
It was a fun day and it makes me smile to think back. Who would have guessed that my good friends on that day would still be with me all of these years later??!!
Vida, Barb, Tina, me, Cathy and Leslie.
// posted by Janet @ 11:39 AM
8 comments
Tuesday, July 15, 2008
Resolve
I have received feedback from a variety of folks who are reading this blog. Not only are people from my neighborhood and town clicking in, but it seems to be reaching other parts of our country and even the world. This is a bit frightening because then I tend to think I need to deliver particularly brilliant posts. But no, I will continue to share as best I can what is inside of me. Hmmmm. That did not come out right because in no way do I want to share with even my worst enemy (not that I can even think of who this would be) what is in my abdomen. You know what I mean. I want to express as honestly as I am able, my thoughts and feelings about my situation.
Indeed, I am suffering from a serious illness. At this point, I prefer to think of myself as a patient, a sick person, who is being treated for the illness I have. I do not want it to be exaggerated beyond this idea.
Several times in the past on this blog I referred to a horrible event in my life that took place in 1983. I've said that some day I would write about it. I won't go into too many details but I am finding myself thinking about those days as I proceed on this journey.
In March of 1983 when I was 30, I became pregnant or so I thought. I had been working as an attorney in downtown Seattle for four years. My father had died three years before. We had been married for 10 years and decided to start a family. My Dad's death inspired me to have children when previously, I wasn't so sure. My plan was to work it all out with my law firm and continue practicing law after a reasonable leave.
Egg and sperm united, but contrary to what some may believe, life did not begin at this conception. In May, I experienced what I thought was a miscarriage. Let's just say, there was a lot of blood and debris. We went to my Ob-Gyn and were told to relax, take a ferry ride, and go on a picnic. In a few months, we could try again. Unfortunately, on the ferry in our car, I started to hemorrhage and pass clots in a major way. At the other side, we turned around and came back. At home, Dave called the doctor and we were told it was not unusual for additional shedding.
I never missed more than a day of work throughout all of it. I felt nauseated most of the time but was told this would eventually pass. I was light headed and weak. Specifically, I remember being in a deposition with a barf bag in my brief case. In my mostly male law firm, I had a difficult time convincing any of them to step in for me. I had to get a court order to change a deposition in California because I was too sick to travel and nobody else would do it.
As May passed, I continued to become more ill. Weirdly, my abdomen was expanding rather than shrinking but I was thin so it was not noticeable. I tried to do my usual jog one evening and almost fainted. Finally, we went back to the doctor and demanded to find out what was going on. My doctor took one look at me, did a portable ultra-sound and revealed I had a hydadidaform mole. Rare, it happens once out of 1800 pregnancies. Basically, conception goes cafluey and instead of a baby, large growths that look like grape clusters take over the uterus. They produce enormous amounts of HCG, the pregnancy hormone that makes you feel sick, and you experience significant blood loss.
The immediate risk is a form of cancer that the growths turn into if they are not completely surgically eliminated. The treatment is a D&C plus monitoring blood levels of HCG. In June, I had a D&C and during the procedure, I almost died. My blood pressure plummeted and they had to cut short the operation. Afterwards, they gave me a blood transfusion in the midst of HIV/AIDS and before there was any way to screen. I was lucky because some women given blood in those days for childbirth issues did acquire the deadly virus. After a weekend or so, I returned to work. Weekly, I walked from downtown Seattle up the hill to Swedish to have my blood drawn. The HCG levels were going the wrong way way and I began to feel nauseated again.
In July, I started to hemorrhage again. The growths had returned. They plunked me in the hospital for another D&C and told me it was likely I would need chemotherapy. A return of a molar pregnancy usually meant it had become cancer. Again, weekly, I walked up the hill to have my blood drawn. The levels of HCG were not going down quickly so they x-rayed to see if it had spread to my lungs. It had not. By this time it was October.
I remember that day. I was in the elevator in my law office building returning from my x-ray. I started weeping. One of the compassionate senior partners found me crumpled there in the elevator. As far as they knew, I had just had a miscarriage so I opened up to him and told him what I had been going through. This was the day I gained my resolve. I decided right then and there in the elevator in the Central Building in downtown Seattle that I was finished with the molar pregnancy. I wanted to be well. I wanted to get on with my life and not be sick anymore. Someday, I wanted to try to have children again. Needless to say, the HCG levels finally dropped steadily though my blood had to be monitored weekly for the next year.
The anemia, weight loss, and lack of appetite I am now experiencing are similar to those days. The fear of the unknown is as well. The inexplicable randomness of being struck with an illness out of the blue has happened to me again. I survived, regained my health and went on to have two healthy pregnancies and two healthy children.
Most importantly, I remember clearly the day in the elevator when my mind switched from being a victim to being a person who had decided to recover.
I have received feedback from a variety of folks who are reading this blog. Not only are people from my neighborhood and town clicking in, but it seems to be reaching other parts of our country and even the world. This is a bit frightening because then I tend to think I need to deliver particularly brilliant posts. But no, I will continue to share as best I can what is inside of me. Hmmmm. That did not come out right because in no way do I want to share with even my worst enemy (not that I can even think of who this would be) what is in my abdomen. You know what I mean. I want to express as honestly as I am able, my thoughts and feelings about my situation.
Indeed, I am suffering from a serious illness. At this point, I prefer to think of myself as a patient, a sick person, who is being treated for the illness I have. I do not want it to be exaggerated beyond this idea.
Several times in the past on this blog I referred to a horrible event in my life that took place in 1983. I've said that some day I would write about it. I won't go into too many details but I am finding myself thinking about those days as I proceed on this journey.
In March of 1983 when I was 30, I became pregnant or so I thought. I had been working as an attorney in downtown Seattle for four years. My father had died three years before. We had been married for 10 years and decided to start a family. My Dad's death inspired me to have children when previously, I wasn't so sure. My plan was to work it all out with my law firm and continue practicing law after a reasonable leave.
Egg and sperm united, but contrary to what some may believe, life did not begin at this conception. In May, I experienced what I thought was a miscarriage. Let's just say, there was a lot of blood and debris. We went to my Ob-Gyn and were told to relax, take a ferry ride, and go on a picnic. In a few months, we could try again. Unfortunately, on the ferry in our car, I started to hemorrhage and pass clots in a major way. At the other side, we turned around and came back. At home, Dave called the doctor and we were told it was not unusual for additional shedding.
I never missed more than a day of work throughout all of it. I felt nauseated most of the time but was told this would eventually pass. I was light headed and weak. Specifically, I remember being in a deposition with a barf bag in my brief case. In my mostly male law firm, I had a difficult time convincing any of them to step in for me. I had to get a court order to change a deposition in California because I was too sick to travel and nobody else would do it.
As May passed, I continued to become more ill. Weirdly, my abdomen was expanding rather than shrinking but I was thin so it was not noticeable. I tried to do my usual jog one evening and almost fainted. Finally, we went back to the doctor and demanded to find out what was going on. My doctor took one look at me, did a portable ultra-sound and revealed I had a hydadidaform mole. Rare, it happens once out of 1800 pregnancies. Basically, conception goes cafluey and instead of a baby, large growths that look like grape clusters take over the uterus. They produce enormous amounts of HCG, the pregnancy hormone that makes you feel sick, and you experience significant blood loss.
The immediate risk is a form of cancer that the growths turn into if they are not completely surgically eliminated. The treatment is a D&C plus monitoring blood levels of HCG. In June, I had a D&C and during the procedure, I almost died. My blood pressure plummeted and they had to cut short the operation. Afterwards, they gave me a blood transfusion in the midst of HIV/AIDS and before there was any way to screen. I was lucky because some women given blood in those days for childbirth issues did acquire the deadly virus. After a weekend or so, I returned to work. Weekly, I walked from downtown Seattle up the hill to Swedish to have my blood drawn. The HCG levels were going the wrong way way and I began to feel nauseated again.
In July, I started to hemorrhage again. The growths had returned. They plunked me in the hospital for another D&C and told me it was likely I would need chemotherapy. A return of a molar pregnancy usually meant it had become cancer. Again, weekly, I walked up the hill to have my blood drawn. The levels of HCG were not going down quickly so they x-rayed to see if it had spread to my lungs. It had not. By this time it was October.
I remember that day. I was in the elevator in my law office building returning from my x-ray. I started weeping. One of the compassionate senior partners found me crumpled there in the elevator. As far as they knew, I had just had a miscarriage so I opened up to him and told him what I had been going through. This was the day I gained my resolve. I decided right then and there in the elevator in the Central Building in downtown Seattle that I was finished with the molar pregnancy. I wanted to be well. I wanted to get on with my life and not be sick anymore. Someday, I wanted to try to have children again. Needless to say, the HCG levels finally dropped steadily though my blood had to be monitored weekly for the next year.
The anemia, weight loss, and lack of appetite I am now experiencing are similar to those days. The fear of the unknown is as well. The inexplicable randomness of being struck with an illness out of the blue has happened to me again. I survived, regained my health and went on to have two healthy pregnancies and two healthy children.
Most importantly, I remember clearly the day in the elevator when my mind switched from being a victim to being a person who had decided to recover.
// posted by Janet @ 10:59 AM
2 comments
Sunday, July 13, 2008
Dear Old Friends
L-R standing: Barb, Annie, me, Tina, Cathy. Seated: Leslie and Vida
Yesterday and Friday evening were wonderful because of seeing my dear old friends. These women have known me my whole life. They do not always agree with me on politics and so forth but the really important stuff--like faith--our hearts are pretty close. Actually, I misspoke in the post below. I met Cathy in the second grade, Annie and Vida in the third grade, and Tina, Barb, and Leslie in 8th grade. Tina and I were college roommates at Montana State. My friends are probably among the most wonderful people on earth. Actually, not probably--they are! Everyone of them is smart and loving and good.
They brought me a ton of presents which Apolo helped open. One of the best was a little book, "Prayers Through Cancer" by women who have suffered through it. It has stories about fears, joys, and feelings along with Bible verses and prayers to match. What I like about it is that it has identified many of my exact thoughts and has given me a way to pray more effectively. Every gift was different and perfect. They know me so well. Annie, my Portland friend, brought slug lapel pins for us all to wear in honor of the Pacific Northwest!
I loved being able to catch up on their lives. None of us are spared great burdens. We have lost parents suddenly and tragically. One of my friends is a breast cancer survivor, another has diabetes, one just had back surgery, and two of them have had seriously ill husbands. All of us have managed our difficult times with faith. At the same time, one of my friends is a grandmother, two of them have engaged daughters, and another has two new 6 month old cocker spaniel puppies.
Another topic we discussed was medical marijuana. Unfortunately, I have lost more weight than my doctors want me too. My problem is appetite. Sometimes I cannot eat and nothing sounds good. I may have been a child of the 60's and 70's, but I never ever tried mj. Washington allows a person with my illness to possess or grow marijuana for medical purposes. The advantage it would give me is not only pain relief but it boosts appetite and is a terrific antidote for anorexia. My friends thought it might be a good idea.
The problem is, you can get a doctor to sign a certificate allowing you to possess or grow marijuana, but then it seems you are on your own to find a source. As you may expect, this being the Pacific Northwest and all, I have had a couple of offers from friends (not the above friends). I just wish there was a marijuana pharmacy with some quality control so I would know whatever I injested was safe. Sure, we could try to grow it but we cannot even grow a tomato. Certainly, I do not want to get my husband or children in trouble because they would be the gardeners, not me. I just want to feel like eating which is one of the great joys of life! It is funny but I never paid much attention to this issue when it was being argued about in our legislature. This remains a dilemma for us.
My friends enjoyed themselves in Seattle. Leslie, from Missoula, managed driving through the traffic downtown which she had never done before. They visited Pike Place Market and brought me flowers and Pain au Chocolats from Le Panier Bakery.
I look forward to seeing them all again when I am well.
L-R standing: Barb, Annie, me, Tina, Cathy. Seated: Leslie and Vida
Yesterday and Friday evening were wonderful because of seeing my dear old friends. These women have known me my whole life. They do not always agree with me on politics and so forth but the really important stuff--like faith--our hearts are pretty close. Actually, I misspoke in the post below. I met Cathy in the second grade, Annie and Vida in the third grade, and Tina, Barb, and Leslie in 8th grade. Tina and I were college roommates at Montana State. My friends are probably among the most wonderful people on earth. Actually, not probably--they are! Everyone of them is smart and loving and good.
They brought me a ton of presents which Apolo helped open. One of the best was a little book, "Prayers Through Cancer" by women who have suffered through it. It has stories about fears, joys, and feelings along with Bible verses and prayers to match. What I like about it is that it has identified many of my exact thoughts and has given me a way to pray more effectively. Every gift was different and perfect. They know me so well. Annie, my Portland friend, brought slug lapel pins for us all to wear in honor of the Pacific Northwest!
I loved being able to catch up on their lives. None of us are spared great burdens. We have lost parents suddenly and tragically. One of my friends is a breast cancer survivor, another has diabetes, one just had back surgery, and two of them have had seriously ill husbands. All of us have managed our difficult times with faith. At the same time, one of my friends is a grandmother, two of them have engaged daughters, and another has two new 6 month old cocker spaniel puppies.
Another topic we discussed was medical marijuana. Unfortunately, I have lost more weight than my doctors want me too. My problem is appetite. Sometimes I cannot eat and nothing sounds good. I may have been a child of the 60's and 70's, but I never ever tried mj. Washington allows a person with my illness to possess or grow marijuana for medical purposes. The advantage it would give me is not only pain relief but it boosts appetite and is a terrific antidote for anorexia. My friends thought it might be a good idea.
The problem is, you can get a doctor to sign a certificate allowing you to possess or grow marijuana, but then it seems you are on your own to find a source. As you may expect, this being the Pacific Northwest and all, I have had a couple of offers from friends (not the above friends). I just wish there was a marijuana pharmacy with some quality control so I would know whatever I injested was safe. Sure, we could try to grow it but we cannot even grow a tomato. Certainly, I do not want to get my husband or children in trouble because they would be the gardeners, not me. I just want to feel like eating which is one of the great joys of life! It is funny but I never paid much attention to this issue when it was being argued about in our legislature. This remains a dilemma for us.
My friends enjoyed themselves in Seattle. Leslie, from Missoula, managed driving through the traffic downtown which she had never done before. They visited Pike Place Market and brought me flowers and Pain au Chocolats from Le Panier Bakery.
I look forward to seeing them all again when I am well.
// posted by Janet @ 11:12 AM
4 comments
Saturday, July 12, 2008
Enjoying Life
Up until yesterday, I have had this sadness or something. All of our remodeling is done and the weather is lovely but I have had this attitude that I can't enjoy it because now I am sick. Like, what's the use of our nice bathroom, now?
This weekend, I was supposed to go to Montana for a reunion with my childhood friends. There are seven of us. Five of us have been friends since elementary school days and the other two joined the group in junior high. Three of them live in Montana, two in Colorado and one in Portland. The last time we got together was in Oregon for our fiftieth birthdays so this time was for 55. After all of this happened, these wonderful women decided to drive to Seattle and visit me.
Our house has become kind of messy with the kids home and me out of commission for major cleaning. But Dave decided to dig in. He vacuumed and mopped and hung pictures we had intended to hang after the contractors left. I decided I wanted a big bouquet of hydrangeas for the dining room table and I managed to accomplish this little task. I do love our house. It is my dream house in every way and we do not plan to move.
When my friends arrived last evening, I felt up to giving them a tour. My attitude changed. All of a sudden I realized there is no reason for me not to enjoy being in my house. Our garden is beautiful and of course, our views are lovely. As I walk through my house or look out the windows, I smile.
If I have to be sick, I'm lucky we live in this house.
Up until yesterday, I have had this sadness or something. All of our remodeling is done and the weather is lovely but I have had this attitude that I can't enjoy it because now I am sick. Like, what's the use of our nice bathroom, now?
This weekend, I was supposed to go to Montana for a reunion with my childhood friends. There are seven of us. Five of us have been friends since elementary school days and the other two joined the group in junior high. Three of them live in Montana, two in Colorado and one in Portland. The last time we got together was in Oregon for our fiftieth birthdays so this time was for 55. After all of this happened, these wonderful women decided to drive to Seattle and visit me.
Our house has become kind of messy with the kids home and me out of commission for major cleaning. But Dave decided to dig in. He vacuumed and mopped and hung pictures we had intended to hang after the contractors left. I decided I wanted a big bouquet of hydrangeas for the dining room table and I managed to accomplish this little task. I do love our house. It is my dream house in every way and we do not plan to move.
When my friends arrived last evening, I felt up to giving them a tour. My attitude changed. All of a sudden I realized there is no reason for me not to enjoy being in my house. Our garden is beautiful and of course, our views are lovely. As I walk through my house or look out the windows, I smile.
If I have to be sick, I'm lucky we live in this house.
// posted by Janet @ 11:35 AM
3 comments
Thursday, July 10, 2008
A Day at a Time
When we first moved to Seattle, our second place to live was a little rental house. The front yard had several hydrangea bushes. I had never seen anything quite like them before and have loved them ever since. Montana is not the place for these flowering bushes and when we lived in Kansas City, we were not exactly in a neighborhood with lovely gardens. Our hydrangea is gorgeous right now so I thought I'd include a photo I just took.
The only way I am living my life right now is one moment to the next and one day at a time. I have no idea the date or day of the week a good share of the time. But the hydrangea bush being in full bloom reminds me we are in the full swing of summer. Kaley is leaving today for Italy for two weeks to participate in an opera festival. She is beside herself with excitement and I am so happy for her. Lucas is looking for jobs and apartments. He had a big interview yesterday. Magali will be here soon to begin her studies at the UW. Because of everything I am going through, I am on the fringes of their activities but I am enjoying watching them beginning their young lives.
My tears do flow frequently. The tears I do not like are those when I am feeling sorry for myself. The world is full of suffering people. I am not special and there is no reason for me to be immune or protected from disease any more than anyone else. The other tears I experience are from being overwhelmed at the love, prayers, and support I am receiving from so many people. I'm just this little old Mom who decided to not practice law so I could be with my children. I have quietly lived my life trying to be an honest and nice person and caring about other people. I just had no idea. What got me today was reading Denny's comment below. He will be thinking about our family as he participates in a cycling portion of a cancer fund raiser in Hanover, NH. Denny is a good friend of Lucas and I have always thought he was a remarkable young man. His parents have also given me their support and I appreciate it so much.
Kaley did a wonderful deed for me last night--again involving her friend. Supposedly, the chemo I am receiving does not cause the significant hair loss that breast cancer chemo causes. When my oncologist saw my hair, he said it would thin out but because I have quite a bit, it may not be too noticable. My decision was to cut my hair shorter to help with the issue. I am not feeling well enough to go to a salon but my daughter came through. She has a friend, Carla, she went to high school with who is training in cosmetology. Her older sister is Kaley's hair dresser. This lovely young woman came to our house last night after a full day's work and cut my hair into a cute shorter style. Not only did she do this but she said she would help with whatever else I might need for my hair as I go through this process. We did have a little trouble with Apolo wanting to help. He was kind of acting like a dust buster with my hair all over the kitchen floor.
I am so grateful that I do not have to go through all of this alone. Blessings are pouring upon me every single day.
When we first moved to Seattle, our second place to live was a little rental house. The front yard had several hydrangea bushes. I had never seen anything quite like them before and have loved them ever since. Montana is not the place for these flowering bushes and when we lived in Kansas City, we were not exactly in a neighborhood with lovely gardens. Our hydrangea is gorgeous right now so I thought I'd include a photo I just took.
The only way I am living my life right now is one moment to the next and one day at a time. I have no idea the date or day of the week a good share of the time. But the hydrangea bush being in full bloom reminds me we are in the full swing of summer. Kaley is leaving today for Italy for two weeks to participate in an opera festival. She is beside herself with excitement and I am so happy for her. Lucas is looking for jobs and apartments. He had a big interview yesterday. Magali will be here soon to begin her studies at the UW. Because of everything I am going through, I am on the fringes of their activities but I am enjoying watching them beginning their young lives.
My tears do flow frequently. The tears I do not like are those when I am feeling sorry for myself. The world is full of suffering people. I am not special and there is no reason for me to be immune or protected from disease any more than anyone else. The other tears I experience are from being overwhelmed at the love, prayers, and support I am receiving from so many people. I'm just this little old Mom who decided to not practice law so I could be with my children. I have quietly lived my life trying to be an honest and nice person and caring about other people. I just had no idea. What got me today was reading Denny's comment below. He will be thinking about our family as he participates in a cycling portion of a cancer fund raiser in Hanover, NH. Denny is a good friend of Lucas and I have always thought he was a remarkable young man. His parents have also given me their support and I appreciate it so much.
Kaley did a wonderful deed for me last night--again involving her friend. Supposedly, the chemo I am receiving does not cause the significant hair loss that breast cancer chemo causes. When my oncologist saw my hair, he said it would thin out but because I have quite a bit, it may not be too noticable. My decision was to cut my hair shorter to help with the issue. I am not feeling well enough to go to a salon but my daughter came through. She has a friend, Carla, she went to high school with who is training in cosmetology. Her older sister is Kaley's hair dresser. This lovely young woman came to our house last night after a full day's work and cut my hair into a cute shorter style. Not only did she do this but she said she would help with whatever else I might need for my hair as I go through this process. We did have a little trouble with Apolo wanting to help. He was kind of acting like a dust buster with my hair all over the kitchen floor.
I am so grateful that I do not have to go through all of this alone. Blessings are pouring upon me every single day.
// posted by Janet @ 12:10 PM
5 comments
Tuesday, July 08, 2008
It's a Beautiful Day in the Neighborhood
Lately, all I have had here is text so I thought I'd take a picture this morning from my back door to brighten things up a little.
Yesterday, I had my second chemo. The Seattle Cancer Care Alliance parking lot was plum full so I was not the only one. We have a lot of sick people in Seattle. It never ceases to amaze me how young so many of the patients are and both men and women. My treatment team all seemed to meet with me yesterday--a nutritionist, a social worker, and the oncologist nurse. Everybody is asking questions and frankly, I have never had to describe to so many people in my life about my bowel movements. Geez!
Afterwards, I was sent home with my friend, the fanny pack pump which lives with me for three days. It reminds me of those high school health classes where the students have to care for a doll for a certain period of time as if it is a real baby. You have to take it with you everywhere and mine is actually hooked to me so I can't walk off without it. We got home about 5 PM and after about an hour, the pump sounded an alarm. I opened the fanny pack and it was blinking, "ALARM. AIR IN LINE. ALARM!" Oh my gosh--what are we supposed to do? Nobody told us this would happen and my pump from the last time never did anything weird. Dave called the 1-800 number and talked to a young woman who knew nothing. I, of course, am wondering if a big bolus of air is going to enter my blood stream and end this whole journey right now. The young woman told us a guy would call. A guy did call and told us to check the line to see if there were any bubbles. No, we did not see any so he walked us through restarting the pump which we did. An hour later, "BEEP. BEEP. BEEP." This time we did not call but did the same procedure to restart. Again, after 8 PM, the stupid thing went off again.
I'm thinking, "I just had chemo. I need to sleep through the night. This is unacceptable." Dave called the number again. The young woman told us the guy would call. The guy called and sympathized that we did not want to be up with the baby every hour of the night. He agreed to come to our house----all the way from Redmond and even though Dave gave directions, the guy did the unthinkable and used his car GPS system. I have written before on this blog how mapquest and car GPS systems send you to a dark place on the edge of Big Gulch blockaded from our street. Anyway, he finally made it here about 10:30 PM and provided me a new pump which seems to be ok. I must say, I am a little paranoid and am carrying the fanny pack in the same exact position as he left it. The dog just drooled all over it while I ate some crackers and that didn't seem to set it off so I think we are ok.
Every couple of days, I have a friend stop by. I find I enjoy the conversation. TV and reading get tiresome. The other day my friend, Rosa, came for a visit. She is Peruvian and forgave us for traveling to Chile. She refused our Chilean Pisco but did have a gin and tonic with Dave. (Actually, I have lost all taste for alcohol or wine and frankly I can't stand the smell of it. It makes me sad because I did enjoy my glass of wine in the evenings. Oh well.) We discussed our children and family matters. Kaley is her daughter's best friend. I met Rosa years ago when Lucas and her son were in the same kindergarten class and the little boys became good friends. When she was about to leave, I explained that Lucas had the Roman Catholics in Chile praying for me. I asked if she could one up him on that. Well, it just so happens that her parents in Lima have gone to the same Roman Catholic church for years. AND, it happens to be connected to a convent with which Rosa is quite familiar. I'm not quite sure all of the reasons but if you knew Rosa, you could just imagine. She said absolutely she could outdo Chile. The nuns in the covent for whatever reason are particularly powerful and she would pass along my plight to her parents. I hugged her and thanked her. I knew she'd come through.
Prayers. I believe in them and I'll take them wherever I can get them!
Lately, all I have had here is text so I thought I'd take a picture this morning from my back door to brighten things up a little.
Yesterday, I had my second chemo. The Seattle Cancer Care Alliance parking lot was plum full so I was not the only one. We have a lot of sick people in Seattle. It never ceases to amaze me how young so many of the patients are and both men and women. My treatment team all seemed to meet with me yesterday--a nutritionist, a social worker, and the oncologist nurse. Everybody is asking questions and frankly, I have never had to describe to so many people in my life about my bowel movements. Geez!
Afterwards, I was sent home with my friend, the fanny pack pump which lives with me for three days. It reminds me of those high school health classes where the students have to care for a doll for a certain period of time as if it is a real baby. You have to take it with you everywhere and mine is actually hooked to me so I can't walk off without it. We got home about 5 PM and after about an hour, the pump sounded an alarm. I opened the fanny pack and it was blinking, "ALARM. AIR IN LINE. ALARM!" Oh my gosh--what are we supposed to do? Nobody told us this would happen and my pump from the last time never did anything weird. Dave called the 1-800 number and talked to a young woman who knew nothing. I, of course, am wondering if a big bolus of air is going to enter my blood stream and end this whole journey right now. The young woman told us a guy would call. A guy did call and told us to check the line to see if there were any bubbles. No, we did not see any so he walked us through restarting the pump which we did. An hour later, "BEEP. BEEP. BEEP." This time we did not call but did the same procedure to restart. Again, after 8 PM, the stupid thing went off again.
I'm thinking, "I just had chemo. I need to sleep through the night. This is unacceptable." Dave called the number again. The young woman told us the guy would call. The guy called and sympathized that we did not want to be up with the baby every hour of the night. He agreed to come to our house----all the way from Redmond and even though Dave gave directions, the guy did the unthinkable and used his car GPS system. I have written before on this blog how mapquest and car GPS systems send you to a dark place on the edge of Big Gulch blockaded from our street. Anyway, he finally made it here about 10:30 PM and provided me a new pump which seems to be ok. I must say, I am a little paranoid and am carrying the fanny pack in the same exact position as he left it. The dog just drooled all over it while I ate some crackers and that didn't seem to set it off so I think we are ok.
Every couple of days, I have a friend stop by. I find I enjoy the conversation. TV and reading get tiresome. The other day my friend, Rosa, came for a visit. She is Peruvian and forgave us for traveling to Chile. She refused our Chilean Pisco but did have a gin and tonic with Dave. (Actually, I have lost all taste for alcohol or wine and frankly I can't stand the smell of it. It makes me sad because I did enjoy my glass of wine in the evenings. Oh well.) We discussed our children and family matters. Kaley is her daughter's best friend. I met Rosa years ago when Lucas and her son were in the same kindergarten class and the little boys became good friends. When she was about to leave, I explained that Lucas had the Roman Catholics in Chile praying for me. I asked if she could one up him on that. Well, it just so happens that her parents in Lima have gone to the same Roman Catholic church for years. AND, it happens to be connected to a convent with which Rosa is quite familiar. I'm not quite sure all of the reasons but if you knew Rosa, you could just imagine. She said absolutely she could outdo Chile. The nuns in the covent for whatever reason are particularly powerful and she would pass along my plight to her parents. I hugged her and thanked her. I knew she'd come through.
Prayers. I believe in them and I'll take them wherever I can get them!
// posted by Janet @ 2:50 PM
7 comments
Sunday, July 06, 2008
Proud of Myself!
Yesterday, I had a blood transfusion with two units of blood. About half way through the second unit, I started to get the chills and spiked a fever. They finished the unit but my fever kept going up even after everything was finished so, of course, they kept me for observation until about 5 PM. I do not know anything about this so I was a little freaked out. After consultation with my oncologist, the nurses gave me Tylenol and benidryl to stave off the little reaction I was having. I was kind of upset because the whole point of the blood was to help my anemia and make me feel better---not worse. Long story short, the fever did go away and today I have not had one.
This morning my daughter was scheduled to sing the prelude, offertory hymn, Communion hymn, and the postlude at church. Now that we are on a summer schedule and do not have the choir, our music director brings in special music. She asked Kaley to perform and since she has been working on some new operatic pieces, she wanted to try them out. I so much wanted to go hear her plus I haven't been to church or received Communion since my diagnosis. But after running a 102 fever last night, I just was not sure. And mornings are not my best time of day. Church starts at 9:30 and at 8:40, I decided I would go to just hear the prelude if nothing else. I washed my hair and showered. Needless to say, my hair wasn't dry and perfectly curl-ironed but it is funny how certain things that used to seem important no longer are. Lucas and Kaley went early in a separate car and Dave brought me at the last minute. We sat in the back in case I needed to leave.
I sat in the pew and decided I wouldn't stand or kneel. And guess what? I made it through the entire service including going up to the altar to receive Communion and a blessing. Music is healing. Beautiful music being produced by your own child is perhaps the most healing of all. It penetrates your soul in a way that you feel it. Remember those stories from a few years back where a couple had a baby in order to hopefully have stem cells or bone marrow for their older sick child? This is kind of how I feel about my children now. They are here to help me heal. I am so grateful and blessed to have them.
It felt wonderful to be in church. I felt surrounded by Love. All of the Loves.
But wait! There's more. After we got home, I finished reading the newspapers and found an inspirational story about the Snohomish Schools Superintendent. He is a 60 year old man who was diagnosed with a rare lymphoma 9 months ago. He has gone through it all--chemo, radiation, bone marrow transplant--and he will be returning to work. He is now recovering. In the article it said that no matter how weak or nauseous he felt, he walked hospital corridors pulling his IV stand along with him most everyday. He tried to always walk about a mile or a little more.
http://www.heraldnet.com/article/20080706/NEWS01/248216646&news01ad=1#Snohomish.schools.chief.going.back.to.school
I thought if he could do it then now with my new blood, I should be able to do it, too. An hour ago, Dave and Lucas with Apolo walked along with me and I managed a mile with no hills, of course--yet. Apolo was thrilled to have his Mommy walking with him. Seriously, you could see him smile an extra big Golden Retriever smile. I have to admit when we made it back to the house, I was feeling like I'd run the mile without stopping.
My Welcome Home reward? Two wonderful neighbors to give me a hug.....
.....and some freshly baked Kaley cupcakes!
Now how cool is that??
Yesterday, I had a blood transfusion with two units of blood. About half way through the second unit, I started to get the chills and spiked a fever. They finished the unit but my fever kept going up even after everything was finished so, of course, they kept me for observation until about 5 PM. I do not know anything about this so I was a little freaked out. After consultation with my oncologist, the nurses gave me Tylenol and benidryl to stave off the little reaction I was having. I was kind of upset because the whole point of the blood was to help my anemia and make me feel better---not worse. Long story short, the fever did go away and today I have not had one.
This morning my daughter was scheduled to sing the prelude, offertory hymn, Communion hymn, and the postlude at church. Now that we are on a summer schedule and do not have the choir, our music director brings in special music. She asked Kaley to perform and since she has been working on some new operatic pieces, she wanted to try them out. I so much wanted to go hear her plus I haven't been to church or received Communion since my diagnosis. But after running a 102 fever last night, I just was not sure. And mornings are not my best time of day. Church starts at 9:30 and at 8:40, I decided I would go to just hear the prelude if nothing else. I washed my hair and showered. Needless to say, my hair wasn't dry and perfectly curl-ironed but it is funny how certain things that used to seem important no longer are. Lucas and Kaley went early in a separate car and Dave brought me at the last minute. We sat in the back in case I needed to leave.
I sat in the pew and decided I wouldn't stand or kneel. And guess what? I made it through the entire service including going up to the altar to receive Communion and a blessing. Music is healing. Beautiful music being produced by your own child is perhaps the most healing of all. It penetrates your soul in a way that you feel it. Remember those stories from a few years back where a couple had a baby in order to hopefully have stem cells or bone marrow for their older sick child? This is kind of how I feel about my children now. They are here to help me heal. I am so grateful and blessed to have them.
It felt wonderful to be in church. I felt surrounded by Love. All of the Loves.
But wait! There's more. After we got home, I finished reading the newspapers and found an inspirational story about the Snohomish Schools Superintendent. He is a 60 year old man who was diagnosed with a rare lymphoma 9 months ago. He has gone through it all--chemo, radiation, bone marrow transplant--and he will be returning to work. He is now recovering. In the article it said that no matter how weak or nauseous he felt, he walked hospital corridors pulling his IV stand along with him most everyday. He tried to always walk about a mile or a little more.
http://www.heraldnet.com/article/20080706/NEWS01/248216646&news01ad=1#Snohomish.schools.chief.going.back.to.school
I thought if he could do it then now with my new blood, I should be able to do it, too. An hour ago, Dave and Lucas with Apolo walked along with me and I managed a mile with no hills, of course--yet. Apolo was thrilled to have his Mommy walking with him. Seriously, you could see him smile an extra big Golden Retriever smile. I have to admit when we made it back to the house, I was feeling like I'd run the mile without stopping.
My Welcome Home reward? Two wonderful neighbors to give me a hug.....
.....and some freshly baked Kaley cupcakes!
Now how cool is that??
// posted by Janet @ 3:00 PM
7 comments
Friday, July 04, 2008
Happy Fourth of July!
Needless to say, my Fourth is a little quiet. I had blood work done yesterday to see if chemo can go as scheduled on Monday. We went to Providence Everett for the blood draw because it is closer and then they sent the results to the Seattle Cancer Care Alliance. My chemo will go as scheduled Monday but I am terribly anemic which I have been since the beginning of all of this which is one of the symptoms that has made me feel lousy and weak. So, SCCA called me and we ended up driving into Seattle after all for more blood work so they could cross type and match everything. Tomorrow, Saturday, I will go in for a transfusion. Hopefully, this will make me feel stronger through this second round of chemo.
Anyway, my puppy Apolo hates fireworks and we had a terrific thunder and lightening storm the night before last. Between both of these things, he has decided that the laundry room no longer makes him feel safe. Every night, he now whines to go downstairs to our rec room. Probably, he hears and sees less down there. I don't know--the room is still full of windows like a sun room but at least he is sleeping happily now.
Yesterday was an extremely low tide. Dave and Lucas walked down to our beach and dug a bunch of clams. Clams or chowder sound terrible to me right now so my request for dinner was French toast. Dave steamed a bunch of clams and then made a pot of chowder which both he and Lucas ate. Kaley was actually in downtown Seattle with a friend for dinner. But they did fix me French toast and not only did they enjoy their clams, they also ate French toast along with me. You know what? Even typing this is about to make me barf. Kaley was horrified when she got home and realized the menu of the evening was clams and French toast.
My Mom has returned to Montana. It was nice to have her here. Times like this you still need your Mommy---especially since she is a cancer survivor. She will be back again for another of my chemo's.
Needless to say, my Fourth is a little quiet. I had blood work done yesterday to see if chemo can go as scheduled on Monday. We went to Providence Everett for the blood draw because it is closer and then they sent the results to the Seattle Cancer Care Alliance. My chemo will go as scheduled Monday but I am terribly anemic which I have been since the beginning of all of this which is one of the symptoms that has made me feel lousy and weak. So, SCCA called me and we ended up driving into Seattle after all for more blood work so they could cross type and match everything. Tomorrow, Saturday, I will go in for a transfusion. Hopefully, this will make me feel stronger through this second round of chemo.
Anyway, my puppy Apolo hates fireworks and we had a terrific thunder and lightening storm the night before last. Between both of these things, he has decided that the laundry room no longer makes him feel safe. Every night, he now whines to go downstairs to our rec room. Probably, he hears and sees less down there. I don't know--the room is still full of windows like a sun room but at least he is sleeping happily now.
Yesterday was an extremely low tide. Dave and Lucas walked down to our beach and dug a bunch of clams. Clams or chowder sound terrible to me right now so my request for dinner was French toast. Dave steamed a bunch of clams and then made a pot of chowder which both he and Lucas ate. Kaley was actually in downtown Seattle with a friend for dinner. But they did fix me French toast and not only did they enjoy their clams, they also ate French toast along with me. You know what? Even typing this is about to make me barf. Kaley was horrified when she got home and realized the menu of the evening was clams and French toast.
My Mom has returned to Montana. It was nice to have her here. Times like this you still need your Mommy---especially since she is a cancer survivor. She will be back again for another of my chemo's.
// posted by Janet @ 1:10 PM
4 comments
Tuesday, July 01, 2008
Observations
Always I have been an observant person. I am grateful for this because I enjoy watching. You can see amazing examples of life perking along between blades of grass. And the tops of the trees are full of excitement every day. Also, it just so happens that the city is filling a big hole in our street sort of in front of our house that water has aggravated over the years. All of the equipment is bright yellow and the workers are all wearing orange T-shirts. It is quite a project but it has been interesting to watch.
Yesterday, as we were sitting on our deck, I noticed a green hummingbird land in our fountain. For the longest time, he drank water and took a shower before buzzing off. I had never seen one stay in place for that much time. Then this morning for whatever reason, a black crow was trying to fly into our window and he kind of tore up the screen. Apolo did not like it much and tried to chase him away. Weird! Sammy and Sarah Swallow have also decided to move in with us by building a nest in our portico. Oh well. We do not have the heart to smash down their nest. It just means visitors to our house may get dive-bombed for a while.
Yesterday, we received some lovely family news. My nephew, the artist/teacher who made my pottery sink for the powder room, became a Daddy. He and his wife Megan had their first baby in Helena, Montana. My brother sent me pictures over my cell phone before she was even an hour old. Her name is Claire Catherine and she weighed 6 lbs. 3 oz. It just reminds us all that birth is a part of life as is sickness. Most every family has multiple parts of this journey happening at the same time. It is the way it is.
Yep, it is what it is.
UPDATE: Sorry, I assumed the spelling wrong. It is Claire Katherine with a "K" and she weighed 6 lbs. 9 Oz.
Always I have been an observant person. I am grateful for this because I enjoy watching. You can see amazing examples of life perking along between blades of grass. And the tops of the trees are full of excitement every day. Also, it just so happens that the city is filling a big hole in our street sort of in front of our house that water has aggravated over the years. All of the equipment is bright yellow and the workers are all wearing orange T-shirts. It is quite a project but it has been interesting to watch.
Yesterday, as we were sitting on our deck, I noticed a green hummingbird land in our fountain. For the longest time, he drank water and took a shower before buzzing off. I had never seen one stay in place for that much time. Then this morning for whatever reason, a black crow was trying to fly into our window and he kind of tore up the screen. Apolo did not like it much and tried to chase him away. Weird! Sammy and Sarah Swallow have also decided to move in with us by building a nest in our portico. Oh well. We do not have the heart to smash down their nest. It just means visitors to our house may get dive-bombed for a while.
Yesterday, we received some lovely family news. My nephew, the artist/teacher who made my pottery sink for the powder room, became a Daddy. He and his wife Megan had their first baby in Helena, Montana. My brother sent me pictures over my cell phone before she was even an hour old. Her name is Claire Catherine and she weighed 6 lbs. 3 oz. It just reminds us all that birth is a part of life as is sickness. Most every family has multiple parts of this journey happening at the same time. It is the way it is.
Yep, it is what it is.
UPDATE: Sorry, I assumed the spelling wrong. It is Claire Katherine with a "K" and she weighed 6 lbs. 9 Oz.
// posted by Janet @ 3:02 PM
7 comments
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